now this will give you some body image issues for real!!
Category Archives: Dance Studio
It’s Not About Being Good, It’s About Getting Better
I love this Article as it goes to the root of what we talk about here. The concept of Being Good (perfect) and Getting Better (realizing that you are fine the way you are but there is always growing to do) can be the difference between feeling worthless and not enough, which can lead to self abusive behaviors, and feeling some level of peace with who and what you are. If we as women (people) could grasp this concept and rewire ourselves out of this all or nothing , black and white perception that many of us operate out of we could really being to shift into a healthier and more productive space and then- actually get proactive in a healthy way towards—getting, and being better.
By Heidi Grant Halvorson, Ph.D.
Motivational psychologist and author
3 Ways to Show Your Kids That It’s Not About Being Good, It’s About Getting Better
Understanding why some children dig in and work hard when faced with something new and challenging to learn, while others get anxious or give up, has been a focus of research in psychology for decades. Most people assume it has a lot to do with intelligence, but that’s surprisingly wrong. No matter how high your I.Q. is, it says nothing about how you will deal with difficulty when it happens. It says nothing about whether you will be persistent and determined, or feel overwhelmed and helpless.
The goals our kids pursue in the classroom (or on the playing field, or anywhere else, for that matter), actually tell us a lot about how they will cope with difficulty. The biggest differences arise between kids whose goals are about being good versus getting better. Where being good is about proving how smart you already are, getting better is about developing skills and abilities — about getting even smarter.
Studies show that kids who see their goals in terms of getting better — who see a less-than-perfect grade on a math quiz as a signal to try harder, rather than as evidence of “not being good at math” — benefit from this outlook in many ways. They find classroom material more fun and interesting, and process it more deeply. They are less prone to anxiety and depression than their be good peers. They are more motivated, persist longer when the going gets tough, and are much more likely to improve over time.
But as parents and teachers, how can we try to encourage our kids to see challenges in the classroom as opportunities to get better, rather than be good? Most children resist being told outright what their goals should be. Tell a student that she should focus more on learning than proving that she is smart (something I have actually tried as a college professor, by the way) and she will rightly point out that she is being graded for her work, so she has to care about how well she performs.
So it’s often much more effective to take a less direct approach. Using these three proven methods, you can provide the subtle signals and cues that encourage your kids to, often unconsciously, hone in on the right motivation.
More Misty!!!
Exclusive Interview: Misty Copeland Talks About Being A Curvy Black Ballerina on Madame Noir
Misty Copeland is an accomplished ballerina…and a bad chick. She’s the first African American female soloist for the prestigious American Ballet Theatre and she also graced the stage alongside music legend Prince during his recent tour. Rumor has it that she is currently dating the Purple One. You KNOW we asked her about that!
Find out what she said about the whole Prince thing and what it’s like being a black curvy girl in the world of ballet.
See video here
Elizabeth Roxas Part 4
Hear Liz talk about getting back into shape for Judith Jamison’s honoring at New York City Center in Jan. 2. It is a surprising and sometimes a cautionary tale!!
An Open Letter to My Body
Dear Body,
Where do I start? I could begin with the reality that despite everything, good, bad, thick or thin, you have always been there. Though I am sure that if you had a choice you would have left years ago, and after some of the things I have said and done to you, I would not have blamed you. For a long time I behaved like a spoilt, ungrateful brat, living with a sense of entitlement, and expectation that at times was unrealistic or disproportionate to the effort and work that I was putting into the situation. I was not compassionate in regards to the hard work and effort that you continually expelled to make my life possible. On your behalf I have to say that you have never let me down. I may have let myself down in not doing all that was required to have, or to be what I wanted, but you stalwartly plugged along handling every, and any task I set before you.
I write to you today to apologize for, and to explain (though I am sure that you already know, as you are the more authentic and intuitive part of us) what I have put you through. I make no excuses, I take the responsibility for the physical, emotional and spiritual pain I have caused you throughout our years together. I could blame it on youth or outside influences and that would be true, but then again you already know that because you have been there through it all. However I feel that would be a cop out. I am here to take responsibility for my actions and non- actions. I am no longer a child, I am a freethinking, independent woman, and I am doing my work. This you also know as you have been there as I have matured and grown into a greater understanding and appreciation of myself, and for you as a form. When I think back to the times when I cursed you, did not talk to you, could not bare to look at you, the times when I was ashamed of you and more ashamed to be seen in you I am sadden. For that I am sorry. Though harsh words got us here, I know that there are no words that can be uttered or written that can undo the damage that has been done. They stay like welted brands on the parchment of our soul, to be carried with us, all the days of our life. I only hope you can forgive me.
Where I should have been awed by your majesty and perfection in the constant rigors of the involuntary actions you perform: heart-beating, respiration, blinking, the sensory factors you house and manage, not to mention mastication, defecation, and all the other “ations” on top of all of that I actually asked you to turn-out, plié, jump, pirouette, and battement, and without complaint, and for the most part a great deal of alacrity you did it! I could feel that dance was a joy to you; it felt good to move through space with the music, with a sense of mastery and physical understanding. It was in those moments that we were both at our best. The feeling of a grande jeté, the sensation of turning (though it was always unnerving to me) was wondrous, there is nothing in the world that feels as divine and delicious as a beautiful adagio. When we danced we felt beautiful, and complete, that is until I looked in the mirror and the image reflected did not resemble the feeling of beauty I felt in my soul, and because there was no one else, nothing else to blame, I took it out on you. My thighs were too thick, my butt too big, my feet not good enough, I was not pretty, or I did not look like her (whomever she was). Suddenly almost without warning the spirit that just moments ago had taken glorious flight was now grounded in the corner, cowering beneath the mental verbal lashing I unleashed.
My Body, my Body, because you are resilient and much more compassionate then I could ever be, with incomprehensible grace and dignity you rose, undefeated and determined to be better, you took the floor again, and again and again. Whether it was an effort to prove that I was wrong about us, the desire to show me my own beauty, or just the only way you knew how to keep us alive, you consistently reached for those fleeting moments of joy and abandon through movement, even though you knew that in the end you would undoubtedly pay for your effort. Yes I know that I was not alone in this process but let me finish… I was, I am your keeper. I should have protected you, honored you and respected you more or enough to, when possible shield or sooth you from outward attacks, and I most certainly should not have joined in on the bullying.
Seldom have I thanked you. Seldom have I acknowledged that you were consistent and trustworthy. Instead of praising you for your strength and power I chastised you for looking too strong, it never occurred to me that I was rarely sick or injured because of your strength. I let others tell me things about you, I believed the horrible things they said and instead of coming to your defense, I bought into their beliefs and made them my own.
Oh I wish that you had a voice, one independent of my own, perhaps then I would have known more quickly what tyranny I was forcing you to live under. Instead you, like a child worked harder for my acceptance, to please me, to be better, to be what I wanted to be. Never did you suspect that it was a fruitless endeavor for there would never be any pleasing me, because the problem was not with you as my Body, the problem was in my head. The problem was me.
So I now beg forgiveness from you publicly, I feel that this is fitting as I publicly defamed, disparaged, degraded and like Judas betrayed you. If you could find it in your heart to accept my apology I would ask that we (as much as possible) wipe the slate clean and begin anew. I will promise to take care of you, honor you, accept, appreciate, respect and support you going forward. I know there is a lot of water under the bridge, I thoroughly expect there to be some things that may be forgiven but cannot be forgotten, and some damage is irreparable this I understand, but I am asking if we can try again. I would not blame you if you did not trust my words but you know the integrity of my intention. I cannot promise perfection, but I can promise my sincere effort. I will assuredly make more mistakes but I vow to be better. I know that it is a lot to contemplate, take your time think it over and let me know. I will be here when you want to talk. I am telling you that from this day forward I am listening, for I now realize that you do have a voice, I am that voice, I speak for you and you for me. I want you to be heard, and I want to hear.
Most humbly,
Me
Copyright ©2011 Theresa Ruth Howard/My Body My Image
First position is hard!!!!
I love this, it is so precious, the little girl is like, what are they? How do I? Wait, go that one right…whoops!!
Misty Copeland on Tavis Smiley
How Much Do Calories Count?
BY David Katz, M.D,
Director of Yale University’s Prevention Research Center
I am a proponent of calorie labeling, because I think having fundamental information is better than not having it — and because I think such information may confer educational value even when it doesn’t directly shift behavior. But that said, I am not at all surprised by the results of this study. I never thought posting calories would have much influence on food selection by kids, or adults.
The most fundamental of my reasons is that most of us don’t eat to fill a calorie quota; we eat to feel satisfied. A tally of the calories in a given menu item does not change whether or not that item satisfies you. If it doesn’t, you may have to eat two.
A second reason why calorie posting may not matter much is related. If the quality of the foods selected doesn’t change, the easiest way to reduce calories is to reduce portion size. But that simply means… eating less, which sounds a lot like dieting. We know how people tend to feel about that.
Yet another issue is that while calories on display may change awareness, and even attitude about food choice (as in: “I’m going to order what I want, but darn- it sure has a lot of calories and I wish it had fewer!”)- it may simply not be enough to change behavior. The fact that calorie posting does not change selections does not necessarily mean it is useless! Maybe it is a necessary, but not sufficient step to get all the way to meaningful change in food choice, diet quality, weight, and health. Maybe it is useful — just not a slam dunk.
But since I do have reservations about the utility of calorie counts on display for a variety of reasons, I tend to favor an alternative. An equally efficient, clutter-free display of overall nutritional quality. In fact, using a 1-100 scale, the higher the number, the more nutritious the dish- such a display would require less space on a menu board than calories. And convey a lot more information.
Join our FACEBOOK FAN PAGE!!!!
Glamour Mag Poll on Negative Body ImageThe Today Show
A few days ago I posted a link to the poll. Glamour Editor in Chief and Psychologist discuss the poll with Meredith Vieira. I found the part about building Neurons that promote negative thoughts. Just STOP!!! very interesting.
Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy