This is What not to DO. Stacy London has made her name for her self by helping people dress better and more appropriately for there lives, age and sizes. Recently she came out and admitted that she had an eating disorder:
“I felt like I’d never had a serious boyfriend and I really wanted to be attractive.”
This is the part that make me upset. Once again it is this concept of 1) being attractive for a man 2) trying to fit into a male/media defined standard of female beauty and 3) the feelings of inadequacy that comes with not being in a relationship. The first thing I want women to understand is that yes of course the way you look does have something to do with whether or not you are with someone, but it’s probably not the only (or even the main reason). Take a look around, there are all types of people in relationships: thin, thick, fat, super fine, and strange looking, rich, poor, unemployed people with children and without. The way you look is just a part of it, and starving yourself or working out to death may not solve the “problem” (although you might meet a cutie at the gym). The man (or the desired partner) is only half of the equation, remember you have to be into the people who are into you! Sometimes when women say “nobody is attracted to me” that is often code for “I am not attracted to the people who are attracted to me”. In addition, the most attractive thing on a women or man is confidence, and doing your personal work is paramount, working to become the person you would want to date might help you attract the person you want to be involved with.
At her lowest London 5’7″ and only 90 pounds, hospitalized she began to eat again, which resulted in binge eating to mask her self-doubt this boomeranged her to 180 lbs doubling her weight. she chronicles her journey in (you got it!) a new book The Truth About Style.
She said:
“When you can talk about something and shine light on it, you’re obliterating shame. And that to me was always the really hard part – to feel so filled with shame and having no recourse to thinking it could get better. [M]y value doesn’t simply come from [being thin]. It comes from me and solely from me. It took me a long time to recognize that.”
I’m sure being in the industry, and more specifically being on a show that dresses what the fashion world calls “normal” bodies didn’t help her disorder. And just one more thing, I used to be hooked on What not to Wear, but phrases like “Hide your flaws, play up your assets and make you feel good.” If we can somehow change the perspective on what “body flaws” are pooches, saddlebags, fuller arms, big booties, and “extra” weight in general maybe we can shift this whole body image game! (just a thought)