Body Story- Pinar

Pinar


I’m a female dancer. I dance flamenco. Yes, I can do ballet, I can do modern dance, folk dances but I “dance” flamenco. I love it. It’s me. I’ve been dancing since 5 and I’ve been dancing flamenco since 20. Now I’m 32 and still dance flamenco.
I’m 1.75 and 68 kilos. I have big bones and muscles. It comes from family but since my childhood I was very active. I always loved to force my body. About age 12, 13 I used to get on my bike and ride as fast as i could for like 2-3 hours everyday.
I was born with a belly. My mom says, “You had a belly like a muffin when you were born”. No matter what I did, I couldn’t get rid of it. It’s always there with me:)) I dance 6 hours a day and that muffin is still there. People who don’t know me or see me dancing asks, “You are a big girl and you have a little belly, you carry too much weight, how can you dance?”, or when they hear I’m a dancer, they give that look from tip to toe. I see the question mark on their faces. “Well, she doesn’t look like a dancer”. People think dancers should be like ballerinas, thin, skinny. I’m too big for a dancer.
I got suspicious about myself. I was unhappy, I thought, “no matter what I do, I’ll never look like a dancer, I’ll never make them believe.” Because this is the structure of my body. How far can I change it? How far can i play with it? Is it important? I dance damn good. I’m athletic. I have fast footwork, I love my arms and my back and I love my impression.Yes, I’m heavy but I’m powerful. I’m used to dance with that weight. I educated and treated my body the way that it can go on and on with carrying weight. I worked more but you don’t know it. You criticize with what you have in mind.
It’s better to stop what people think. Our bodies are not commercial products. We dance for life, we don’t dance to sell our bodies. It’s not sun tanned skins. It’s not Super Man. It’s not a Greek monument. Dancing is beyond body. And my body is mine. It’s mine to decide what i do with it.
Have a nice day:)

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