(wait for it) Toddler Beauty Queen age 6 Retires and Writes a Memoir


Where is the rapture when you need it? Or perhaps this is proof that it is on its way. Eden Wood, one of the subjects on the reality series Toddlers and Tiaras is retiring from the pageant circuit. In the Clip below her mother says that she is following in the footsteps of other former pageant women like–wait for it –Oprah Winfrey. She is leaving the reality show to set out on her way to earn big money and stardom like Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez Or other Disney child stars (her mother should look at that track record before she says that out loud). Not only that but Eden is is also “writing” a book entitled “From Cradle to Crown”. I don’t know whether to blame them or the publishing house that signed this deal (no doubt they represent Snookie and Eden will be booked as guest speaker at Harvard’s commencement ceremony before her 7th birthday at a fee that trumps a noble peace prize winning author)

This story only supports my current facebook status “If you are part of the solution, then be part of the problem!” And the problem with things like this is that we as consumers participate in this nonsense. I mean she has a Showgirl action figure- a SHOW GIRL ACTION FIGURE? WTF!What parent BUYS that for her child?

Meanwhile it is the mother doing all of the talking and the poor little girl sits there looking more drugged then O.J. at his murder trial. Apparently she was tired, it makes sense after all she’s the hardest working 6 year old in the business what with her Mall tour “Eden and the Glamour girls and all. Nowhere in the interview was school mentioned or her education. We see footage of Eden in a make-up chair but never with a book. What really bothers me (and most people who take issue with this sort of thing) is the hyper sexualization of these little girls, they look like miniature burlesque queens in costume and behavior, we are telling them they are their sexuality or their bodies, and not empowering them to develop their intellect and minds? What happens when she not a cute 6 year old but an adult woman (ok I got a flash of Better Davis in Whatever happened to Baby Eden I mean Jane) The whole world of kiddie pageant is creepy, there is always an overzealous stage mother in the audience or back stage mouthing the words to the song and song and doing the choreography with stars (and now dollar signs in their eyes) stardom and fame by proxy. It makes you wonder who is the chicken and who is the egg and came first.

When you dress a child up to look like a show girl or stripper, pile so much make-up on it ages them 45 years, and have them sing songs that are supposed to be cute but are more creepy because of the suggestive choreography, sparkles and midriff top, and your main priority is that she become “Famous” that’s of great concern. Will she be able to read her own book? In the interview there is no mention of school, but they reiterate that “Eden has been working really hard” SHE”S 6 should 6 year olds be “working hard”? Yes at learning to tie shoes, read books and jump rope. The other thing I found interesting about the interview was the mother’s language, a few times she had to correct her “I’s” to “She’s” when talking about her daughter’s goals, and earning potential. Take a look and tell me what you think.
Oh the rapture was postponed until October so you still have time to catch Eden’s Mall tour and get a signed picture, but she can’t write in script yet sorry print will have to do!

One thought on “(wait for it) Toddler Beauty Queen age 6 Retires and Writes a Memoir”

  1. Thank you for this amazing commentary. I can’t agree more. You summed it up perfectly. I can’t add much. Well done!!!

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