Well if having a site that promotes adultery wasn’t bad enough, The Ashley Madison website’s last ad featured a full figured woman seductively posed and asking “Did your wife scare you last night?”  The implication is disrespectful, and just plain appalling. Now imagine if you were the plus sized woman in the picture.

Well her name is Jacqueline and she has spoken out! It is important that we hear what she has to say, and how she feels because too often we look at advertisements that depicts images that create contrast, using the juxtaposition of “good” against “bad”  “cool against “geeky” and “beauty” against “ugly” as a means of defining what we as a society should consider to be unattractive, or undesirable. you might say “lighten up they are only advertisements” but in truth it is harmful. They use real people to project that idea and those images, and we (the consumers) look at them and think “Thank god I don’t look like that” or laugh, or create some sort of opinion, not about that person in particular, but about what they represent. The thing is, they (the people in the ads, commercials, tv shows or movies) are real people-in real life –and are representing real types of people. They are in reality flesh and blood, so the way in which we are encouraged to regard them (as less than), the way we are lead to feel about them(they are not worthy), or way they should be treated, (or mistreated, ignored, called names, bullied, teased etc.) matters because we bring that behavior into real life when we interact with such people. This woman Jacqueline is real, not just a print ad. That is why I love this letter because it humanizes her- she is no longer be just an image that represents something that is unlovable, or undesirable. She is a human being, deserving of respect and love just like any other (smaller sized) person and using her image or images like this to debase people, or a group of people is unacceptable. But could we expect anything better from a site that promotes and encourages infidelity?

Here is what she wrote to Jezebel.com:

I’m The ‘Scary’ Model In That Awful Ashley Madison Ad

My name is Jacqueline and I am the model seen on the Ashley Madison ad that was recently published in the New York Metro newspaper.

I am the owner and model of the BBW website www.juicyjackie.com. It is tailored to the tastes of those that love big women, their curves, rolls and all the plush softness that comes with being fat.

Years ago, before my modeling career began in earnest, a photographer friend of mine arranged an informal photo session. I was under the impression at the time that people purchasing these photos from the photographer would be doing so for their own personal use. I had no idea that the photographer would endeavor to sell the photos to corporations and/or stock photo companies, who would then go on, repeatedly, to use them in rude and mocking ways.

I am mortified that my image and likeness would be used as advertisement for two things I am so vehemently against: namely cheating and, to an even greater extent, body shaming.

I find the very idea that there exists a business based solely around the facilitation of infidelity appalling. The fact that they are now suggesting that a person’s partner not fitting their ideal body size/shape, entitles that person to ‘shop around’ is disgusting.

There is an enormous problem in this world in regards to female body shaming, and not solely in regard to fat women, but all women. A size 2 woman who sees this ad sees the message: “If I don’t stay small, he will cheat”. A size 12 woman might see this ad and think “if I don’t lose 30lbs, he will cheat”. A size 32 woman could see this ad, and feel “I will never find love”. It’s horrific. Not all women are necessarily insecure, but it’s no secret that body insecurity is endemic, regardless of size. This kind of message is extremely damaging to self worth. Eating disorders may have lost their place in the media spotlight, but continue to effect people of all ages, especially teens. This sort of behavior can easily be triggered from the careless cruelty of advertisements like the one in question.

As has been widely reported, teens are committing suicide in shocking numbers all over the world as direct result of this sort of shaming ridicule. Be it directed at race, size, sexual orientation or anything, bullying is a vicious force in this world. Contributing to this widespread and creeping depression by suggesting, blatantly and without pretense, that fat people are patently undeserving of love and loyalty is repulsive. It is incumbent upon advertisers, and society at large, to act responsibly before foisting something like this onto the world.

It’s bad enough that a business exists that encourages and profits from cheaters, but, worse still, that they have the gall to blame a woman’s body on the act, rather than the man who is incapable of commitment and loyalty. It exists in the same school of thought in which a rapist blames a woman’s outfit for his crime.I am a size 32. I am beautiful. I think women of all sizes are beautiful. Beauty is not and has never been one-size-fits-all. I do not appreciate my image being used, without notice or permission, to tell women I have never met otherwise.