How would you feel if once a month at work you were pulled into an office and had your boss measure your waistline? If it was over 33 inches, the company would be fined by the government and your job would be in jeopardy. Well this is exactly what is happening in Japan. Due to the influx of American fast food, Japanese waistlines are expanding and the government is not having it, check this out
how do you feel about this? is it going too far or a smart preventive measure?
It is disheartening to realize that often it takes a great tragedy or the remembrance of one to bring us back, even for a moment to our centers, and what in the end really matters in life. In such moments the things that occupy our minds and cause worry, fear and anxiety: the desire to be more, have more, and the internal chiding that echo in our heads, gently fall away in the presence of events that bring the true importance of life to the fore. Yes it is a bit disheartening to think that in an annual moment of silence for those lost we regain our equilibrium and see that in truth every day we have – to enjoy, endure or suffer through is in and of itself a blessing. We are, at our essence forever and always perfect, enough, beautiful, and precious. When we ourselves do not feel it, know that somewhere someone feels that way about us and if we were not here, there would be a void in someone’s life, a space where the warmth, love, laughter, and joy would not exist, only the vacuum of loss.
On this day of remembrance of those who lost, and sacrificed their lives ten years ago on that fateful day, let us take a moment to acknowledge, appreciate, and respect both them and ourselves, and the truth that every life, including our own impacts, and imprints the world we share singularly.
The only way to make the world a better place, it to be better people in it….
In Remembrance,
Theresa Ruth Howard
Had a busy week, well sit back and catch up:
Adele speaks out about her figure
A Little Death- When “Dance Identified” what happens it’s time to retire?
A Year without Mirrors- Could you do it?
What not to Wear’s Stacy London promotes looking good not “thin”
Dance Studio Review:
Another way to think about it: The Problem is not in your Body but in your Head!
Have a great weekend!
First let me tell you that I was miffed at myself for missing the premiere episode of Big Sexy last Tuesday night, and could not for the life of me find the full episode online. Do I really have to explain why I was so interested in checking out a reality show about plus sized women in New York City? I was hoping that it was going show a slice of life that is seldom represented on television and film. I was hoping that TLC with Big Sexy would be able to free “Big Girls” from their relegated placement as funny, zany, slightly desperate side kicks, who are sex starved and most times the butt (pun so intended) of the easy joke. Oh I was so hoping…
So last Tuesday night I made a point of being in front of my flat screen at 10pm tuned into TLC. Well, all I can say is that the episode started with the ladies Tiffany Bank, Heather Roach, Leslie Medlick, Audry Lea Curry, Nikki Gomez going—wait for it—MECHANICAL BULL RIDING. Can I ask you a question? What “Regular” sized woman in New York City goes Bull Riding? (Ok the Real Housewives of Orange County went when they were in Texas but that was a hot embarrassing mess to!) It looked like they were endanger of losing me in the first five minutes. To see these women first struggle to get up on the damn thing and then to see it bucking around was one thing, but hearing their commentary one another about the reaction vibration and bucking has copious amounts of flesh was too much. Now let me make this clear, it’s not about seeing plus sized women on a bull having a ball that bothered me, it was the fact that it looked, and felt like an orchestrated spectacle, exploitation, a forced attempt to say “Fat girls have fun” and “Fat girls are sexy too”. The question is whom were they trying to convince? Or was it just me?
At that commercial break I had to switch the channel, I was upset and annoyed, it looked like this was not going to turn out well, it was like watching a car crash happen and not being able to stop it, I was deciding to look away. —After minute or two I decided to hold on to hope, and finish the assignment.
After with The Hills scandal about scripting years ago and the domination of the Kardashians we all know that these shows, while not being “scripted” are directed and produced. Topics of conversation are decided upon and when “Action” is called what resulted is like a basic, bad beginner improve class where students are given a topic, intention and a resolution, how they get there is on them. Most reality subjects aren’t actors for a reason and the Big Sexy gals need more practice and making these set up situation seem slightly believable. Where the girls from The Hills had the support of great lighting and an alternative music soundtrack that made all the shifting eyes and the tucking of hair behind ears look choreographed, these gals aren’t supported by Hollywood gloss. The camera work and editing is not working to their advantage at creating plausibility, I know TLC isn’t about the glossy effect of an E entertainment Network or MTV but a spit shine wouldn’t kill anyone. I’m not saying that they look bad; I’m saying that it just doesn’t help to enhance the quality of the show. The scene set up seem forced, like a group of people who think themselves clever sat around a table throwing out brilliant ideas like “why don’t we have them go mechanical bull riding?” In truth these ladies’ actual lives are probably more interesting, if only they were able to tell them instead of being forced into the standard reality show format the network seems to think is one size fits all.
The formulaic topics for chick reality shows embody 4 basic areas: Shopping, Partying, Dating and Drama (gossip, break-ups, health issues, and career goals) Big Sexy follows suit on all counts while never ceasing to remind you that these are *Fat women shopping, partying and dating, and their drama all surrounds the fact that they are fat. In fact they can’t stop reminding us that they are big, curvy, fleshy, the language in it’s self seems excessive and forced. Look I have never been what is considered fat but I have been black all my life, which brings with it a certain amount of discrimination, overt and barely perceptible, I have hung around groups of all black women and we don’t harp on our blackness the whole time. And in real life I doubt that these women’s conversations are dominated by their weight, but this is what the show reduces them to. * I know the show is about big girls but do we have to constantly state the obvious? They seem so preoccupied with their size that we, as viewers aren’t allowed to see past it, and isn’t that the point? To show that big women are –women. I understand that part of the message it to illustrate the size discrimination and issues that plus size people (not just women) experience, but this show seems to reduce the subjects to just that, their size and their issues.
Episode 2 continued the obligatory Shopping scene:
Heather brings comedian Erica Watson (who has a one woman she called –wait for it—Fat Bitch) to Leslie’s clothing store to pull some looks for her show. It was typical reality show gal in clothing store banter, just this time about being fat, finding clothes that fit and look good, and a bit about men. Basically it was a not so subtle set up for the girls attending Erica’s show later in the episode.
Dating:
Nikki has been dating a man for seven months (both are coming out of marriages) and is ready to have the “where is this going talk”. The conversation all sounds uncomfortable and forced, and in the end he says he’s not ready, and is thinking of reconciling with his wife, leaving Nikki to pull the plug. Now all the women are single which means that there is nothing left to do but to throw a party. Men are screened prior to the party, the interview process is great fodder to show how some men have fetishes for fat girls and are just plain freaks. From the shots, it appeared that the cast members were the only females at the party. But it gives us a chance to see the gals all gussied up and flirting up a storm, and cue Drama, when Tiffany has her eye on a cutie, but Nikki (who is on a mission) scores his card but later decides to pass it off to Tiffany, who is rightly perplexed at the gesture.
*This is something to note, all the women on Big Sexy, all of the women are single, (I think to model Sex in the City but it might have been nice to have cast at least one woman who is in long term relationship, if part of the point is to show that big women are loveable too)
You get the sense that all of this pomp and circumstance has nothing at all to do with these women’s real lives; they are putting on a show and a bad one at that. Where they honestly may be authentically happy with themselves in real life (or at least as happy as any body else, we all have our problems) the strained stilted staging of inauthentic, inorganic conversations makes one doubt how “happy” they are. The Shakespearian quote “Me thinks the lady doth protest too much” echoes in my head. I do believe that what they are talking about, the perils of being treated differently because of their size, the difficulty at fitting in (clothes, space, social groups) being ostracized are all real things and should be brought to light, however the *way they are dealt with feel fake and their is little insight to their *true world or feelings, just cliché phrases and statements that make you sigh and want to change the channel.
There are some authentically beautiful moments in the show, Tiffany an aspiring plus sized model visits her agent and has to endure being measured only to discover that she is about to be too large for the largest plus size. She is told to lose 7-10 pounds, or as her very direct no nonsense agent informs her, if she doesn’t lose the weight she is “wasting everybody’s time”. It is a hard truth to swallow, one that standard and plus models face regularly. Tiffany in her interview is teary eyes as she laments the situation, and speaks in earnest of how tired her is of trying, she is tired of counting pounds, and calories and exercising only to be told it’s not good enough– does that sound familiar? Later Tiffany goes to the doctors only to discover that she has an issue with her thyroid, she is relieved to know the cause of her weight loss struggle, but the knowledge doesn’t absolve her from doing the work, later she hits the gym resolute to lose the weight needed to keep her working and reaching her goal. In these moments she became real and not a caricature of herself.
Just then it dawned on me, something that should have been clear from the onset; this is a woman’s story, not just big woman’s story. The source of my annoyance at the show, had nothing to do with the size of the women, but the idea that the subject of their size kept getting in the way of my getting to know who they were, and isn’t that the original problem? People tend to see and judge the weight and not the person. If Big Sexy trying to illustrate that full-figured women are just like everyone else (just a big bigger version) and should not be judged for their size, then it should show that they are by focusing on the commonalities that we all share. Most women regardless of size have body issues, trouble in relationships, career advancement, and pressure to be and have it all. People can relate, and when they see these women have to struggle with life issues, plus the stigma that goes along with being heavier makes it even more difficult. You really don’t have to manufacture discrimination do you? The place Big Sexy falls short is that it uses the women as props to present issues, and turned what could have been a great opportunity tell an untold story, (that is a reality for a great deal of Americans) into what looks like propaganda for being overweight. By extracting the humanity from these women I fear that they might have exacerbate the problem of discrimination. There will be those who will say that Big Sexy says it’s “Okay to be fat” when really it’s trying to say, “If you are fat, it’s okay” the rest of the statement would be “you are still relevant, valid, and worthy of respect, love and acceptance”
I might check out a few more episodes just to see if they find their footing and hit a stride, but for me sadly Big Sexy was a Big Disappointment.
Cast:
Tiffany Bank
Heather Roach
Leslie Medlick
Audry Lea Curry
Nikki Gomez
Clips from the premier Episode
Thunder Thighs Contest
Club Rejection
Shopping for “Booty” Jeans
OMG! this is Little Ali Lohan? I hope Dlisted is wrong, I can’t believe it. It is hard for me to get past how thin she appears but the work she has had done to tho her face (definitely cheek implants, rhinoplasty and Restylane injections in the lips and maybe her jaw is broader) have rendered her virtually unrecognizable! Now I have nothing against plastic surgery but isn’t she like 17 years old? Who let’s a child do that? And isn’t she signed to a modeling agency? You have to jump through hoops before you cut your hair let alone completely change you face. It’s like she is the Witness Protection Program, no one would ever know it was her!
maddness
here is a before and after- why just tell me why? this makes me sad…
I have to say that I was totally obsessed with Adele, and for months straight I traversed the world with her sound track in my ears. one of the things I was attracted to her was firstly because of the whole English blue-eyed Soul thing and then there was the fact that she didn’t fit the “mold” she was beautiful for sure, but full figured working that 1950’s Mad Men style that was all the rage. Later when I heard that she was not interested in lending her face as a spokesperson or in “branding”, I was highly interested, I mean when was the last time you heard of an artist or athlete who was not interested in earning big-HUGE money for a days photo shoot? But when I read what she had to say about how she felt about her body I was even more in awe…
Hosted by Dailymail.com
While many young singers are obsessed with staying slim there is one star that makes no apology for her fuller figure.
And in a revealing interview singing sensation Adele says she is happy just the way she is and her voluptuous shape has never been an issue.
Speaking to Vogue the 23-year-old who also posed for a series of stunning portraits said: ‘I enjoy being me; I always have done.’
Happy as she is: Adele who graces the cover of UK Vogue for the October issue has spoken out about her fuller figure
‘I’ve seen people where it rules their lives, you know, who want to be thinner or have bigger boobs, and how it wears them down. And I just don’t want that in my life.’
And it seems the people she surrounds herself with ensure she maintains a positive self-image.
She explained: ‘It’s just never been an issue – at least, I’ve never hung out with the sort of horrible people who make it an issue. I have insecurities of course, but I don’t hang out with anyone who points them out to me.’
No matter the price: The 23-year-old has also revealed why she wouldn’t become the face of the brand even if someone offered her £10million but did say she should be the face of full-fat coke
Mental Health Specialist Cortnay Veazey gives us “A Little Death” which talks about how to avoid some of the painful pitfalls when it’s time to face the final curtain, or when injury knocks you out of the game for a while. As dancers, or even as family members and friends of dancers we know (and maybe have become collateral damage to) the myopic mind set and lifestyle of the dance world. Not to get all Black Swan on you but to become a professional dancer (in any genre, on any level) takes a great deal of sacrifice, and while you are in it, because you are loving what you’re doing it doesn’t feel that way, but sometimes on the back end you come realize that there is a great deal that you missed out on. It is akin to what you here child stars talk about, missing out on their childhoods. Where it might not be THAT extreme, there are things that must take a back seat. For instance I started dancing at the age of 3, and dance professionally at 13 with a regional company, I loved what I was doing and I was dedicated and focused, but because of the amount of time I spent in the studio I can barely ride a bike, I don’t rollerskate, ice skate, or ski, for fear of injury and lack of down time. I stopped swimming and running track on school teams for fear of building the wrong muscles, and gave up the violin because there weren’t enough hours in the day after dance to do homework and practice. These may seem like small things, but in a sense my inability to experience these seemingly insignificant things at crucial developmental stages might have shipped away at the person I would have become had I the chance to engage in them.
When I stopped dancing (the first time- there were a couple of retirement dry runs) I was only 23, and was fascinated by the prospect of being and living like a normal person- no more sewing pointe shoes, aches and pains, and ice, no more having to end my weekend early so that Monday I could be rested for a full rehearsal day. AND AND AND I could eat what ever I wanted, no dieting (unless I wanted to) I could eat drink and party with relative impunity. AND I DID! That was the first time, I went back to dancing a year or so later and only loosely reentered the world (project to project- after being set loose in the world there was no going back completely) the second time I “retired”, I was fully prepared, but only because of my early jail break. This is a truly important topic, and though it does not seem directly related to your body—your mind and your mental health are the cornerstone of your perception of self… read, learn and enjoy!
A Little Death- When “Dance Identified” what happens when it’s time to Retire?
Courtnay Veazey
It’s been seven years since I’ve consistently taken ballet classes, yet I still identify myself as a dancer, a bunhead, a ballerina, a terpsichorean, a lover of movement. However, this identification has lost its influence as other aspects of my post-performing identity have matured and blossomed. Identifying yourself as a dancer has its pros and cons. Pros include an intimate connection with your body, an automatic link to a tight-knit community, a spirit of intense dedication, and the joys of performing. Cons usually occur during times of transition, such as injury, realizing that you will not become a professional dancer, or retirement. All of those transitions deal with a loss, and as with any other loss in your life, you will grieve and feel heartbroken. To illustrate these powerful emotions of loss and grief felt by transitioning dancers, Kevin McKenzie, the artistic director for the American Ballet Theatre, said, “The retiring dancer and heartbroken lover are never more alike than when their relationships end” (Jeffri, 2005, p. 341).
I felt lost, confused, and grieved my senior year of high school when I realized that I would no longer be spending at least 15 hours a week in the ballet studio – my haven. I cried throughout my entire warm-up class before my final performance with the Ballet Memphis Junior Company. I knew that part of my identity was dying, but I chose to recognize that this loss would leave room for growth and new opportunities in my life. Ironically, the work ethic and dedication I learned from ballet would help me overcome the loss of ballet as my predominant self-identifier.
One of the most difficult times of transition a professional dancer will face is retirement – especially since it usually occurs at a young age. Most dancers end their careers before the age of 40. According to Pickman (1987), dancers “face retirement from dance with little knowledge or formal preparation for other careers” (p. 200). Along with lack of preparation regarding their transition, retiring dancers experience strong emotions, such as anger, frustration, depression, fear, and grief (Doerr, 1995; Jeffri, 2005; Pickman, 1987; van Staden, Myburgh, & Poggenpoel, 2009). An international survey conducted in 2000 by Columbia University’s Research Center for Arts and Culture confirmed “the common notion that the end of a career in dance is ‘one of life’s little deaths’ that dancers often say they must mourn the loss of before they can continue in another career” (Jeffri, 2005, p. 346). This same survey also confirmed that dancers feel more satisfied in their post-retirement careers if they fully prepare themselves for retirement compared to those dancers who do not prepare themselves (Jeffri, 2005).
South African researchers conducted semi-structured interviews with professional ballet dancers and discovered that retiring dancers usually do not view retirement as a growth opportunity (van Staden et al., 2009). They become intimately connected with the grief aspect of this transition and the fear that normally comes with a change and forget about the growth aspect and the talents and skills they have to offer. Also, upon retirement, dancers experience exclusion and self-doubt as a result of finding “themselves in competition with other ‘normal’ people, who are usually in the middle of their careers or even picking up the results of an already established career” (Roncaglia, 2006, p. 184; Drahota & Eitzen, 1995).
Feelings of being unprepared and feelings of anger, frustration, depression, fear, grief, loneliness, and self-doubt can be overcome by processing those emotions with a mentor and/or a counselor. Thankfully, the dance community recognizes this need for support and encouragement, and a wonderful organization exists specifically for dancers facing career transitions. This organization is Career Transition for Dancers.
When Kjerstin Gruys got engaged to her longtime boyfriend, the former fashion merchandiser turned sociologist feared she would relapse into an eating disorder as she hunted for the perfect wedding dress. She was fiercely committed to researching her sociology Ph.D. on beauty and inequality, but was overwhelmed by the pressure of having a picturesque wedding. Her values and behavior were at odds, and she knew had to do something — and quick.
Instead of becoming engulfed in a vanity obsession, she committed to a year without mirrors — and launched the blog Mirror Mirror…OFF The Wall six months before her wedding date.
“I’ve been trying to stick to my own goal of writing honestly and openly about the process,” Gruys said.
Her inspiration for the blog and staying mirror-free for a year came from “The Birth of Venus,” a novel about an order of nuns who lived in Italy hundreds of years ago and gave up looking at their bodies and reflections for a lifetime. Since kicking off her blog five months ago, she’s written about everything from her “No Makeup Mondays” to the history of mirrors, referencing stats such as how women spend five full days a year staring at their reflection.
Her objective for the blog? To get women to rethink body images and what they’re told about beauty. To help her stick to this goal, she volunteers at the nonprofit About Face, which aims to equip women and girls with the tools to understand and resist media messages that negatively affect their self-esteem and body image. “If I had a magic wand, I’d ask women to think about and try to challenge some of the assumptions they have about their appearance, and loosen the grip that body ideals can have,” she said.
One of the biggest themes that has stemmed from her project is trust, Gruys said. “I have to trust people to let me know if I have poppy seeds in my teeth. A bigger, deeper issue is trusting people in your life to not care about how you look and to love you even more for spending time with them instead of complaining about your looks.”
Although Gruys said she has a supportive group of peers who have nudged her on, she has been criticized by online commenters who say she is not dealing with the root of her insecurity. “In my case, I am avoiding the mirror so I can get on with my life and do other things. I hope to take the emphasis away from my body and just focus on other things.”
“I recently read something that said looking in the mirror for more and more time doesn’t give you anymore information. It’s so plain and true,” she added.
There was a time when I was totally obsessed with TCL’s What not to Wear. Where philosophically I don’t like the idea of “making someone over”. I guess it’s the artist rebelling in me but there is something about “changing” someone’s “style” (which sometimes happens with the people who are less conventional) that doesn’t sit well with me- however refinement if fine. What was most interesting to me about What not to Wear was how hosts Clinton Kelly and Stacy London worked to do just that, refine the subject’s look, concentrating on giving them tips on pairings, and flattering tailoring, and cuts. This I could get into, after all I am always struggling to find a trouser or skirt that works for my hips/thighs/waist ratio. Since we as a society are so used to a “make over” subject being a dowdy “ideal” rather then a real hot mess (like putting a pair of nerdy glassed on a beautiful actress to make her “read” frumpy) the result is more just a bump up. We never really learn how to dress body types that fall out of the “norm” or creates style challenges.
Everyone knows how the fashion industry feels about the female body, or the lack there of so whenever the styling pair was faced with a curvy or plus sized woman something in me would tense. It was those episodes that had me rapt, primarily because I was concerned about what Clinton and Stacy, who’s “charm”as a team comes in the form comments that range from witty to caustic, would say behind the woman’s back. I was pleasantly surprised, they were always gracious and tactful, never commenting on the size of the woman’s body but focusing on the cut and fit of the garment(s) she was wearing. In fact if a woman had a tiny waist and full hips they encouraged her to play it up by belting shirts and dresses, if she was top heavy, with great legs, they found her shorter hemlines, and never would they seek to tent her figure. I would always exhale a sigh of relief. I always wondered how they did it, well I found an article with an interview with Stacy London talking about size verses style:
Hosted by Sparkpeople.com
Stacy London, co-host of TLC’s show “What Not To Wear” is known for being critical of people’s choices when it comes to fashion. She’s even brutal at times when it comes to what’s wrong with your wardrobe. But even though she might make negative comments about the shirt you’re wearing, she will never comment on your size or tell you that you need to lose a few pounds.
London says her job is to accentuate the positive aspects of a person’s figure and help them embrace their curves–not to make them feel bad because they don’t wear a size 4. She doesn’t feel that it’s her job to question the health of the show’s makeover candidates, but rather to help them see how a new scarf or pair of pants can take the focus off of those “trouble spots”.
London knows what it’s like to struggle with weight and fitting into the right clothes. She admitted that she’s dealt with weight problems for a lot of her life, so she knows where many of these people are coming from. She thinks that learning to dress with style can make you feel good about yourself, regardless of the number on the scale. And if you feel good, that might give you the motivation to make changes in other areas of your life–like diet and exercise.
For more on this topic on My Body My Image check out:
Dress your Body not your Issues
Body Hero Fluvia Lacerda- my Body was not meant to be hidden
