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Chronic Pain and Body Image- Body Hero Lynne Greenberg

As a work my way through Lynne Greenberg’s The Body Broken I can’t help trying to put myself in her position. She describes with great detail (and little emotion – which helps- believe me) some of the painful procedures she endured in an effort to quell her pain without result. We are talking about NUMEROUS injections in her SPINE! I can’t fathom an epidural during child birth!!! But to have a needle plunged into your spine like weekly with no anesthesia? The thought makes my teeth itch. I swear I couldn’t do it, but then I think, Lynne probably never in a million years thought that she would be able to endure all that she has, physically, emotionally and spiritually until she had to. This is why the human spirit is so amazing!

For years I have had a chronic pain in my hip (nothing I am sure that can compare to Lynne’s pain but it’s real to me). Sometimes after rehearsal and now after teaching I count my steps (literally) until I can collapse on the couch. Often people will ask me “Are you limping?” I brush it off by saying that I always limp,  and to a certain extent I do- or I have. It’s amazing to me that I have (almost without thought) learned to live the pain that is  a combination of age and injury. What gets me though (in my head) is not the pain, but the look of my limping, when I catch a glimpse of reflection in the ubiquitous glass fronts of the buildings in New York and see that my torso is pitched forward to compensate for my inability to let my right leg extend fully behind me it rattles me. I think that I look old, frail, decrepit. It’s ego.  When I see myself this way I immediately try to straighten up (increasing the pain) in an effort to look—unbroken.

When I first learned of The Body Broken I had no idea that on a level it would be telling a part of my own story, and giving me the strength and tools to travel my own journey. A huge thanks to body hero Lynne Greenberg!

A true Body Hero…

 

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Tom Ford talks China, Beauty and says Americans are FAT!

 

Well I have to say we are some big folks, and in the last decade we have gotten bigger. Not to be a size-ist as a cue to country we are getting larger due to poor dietary habits, we have awful diets. The thing that bothers me most is that I see so many over weight  children. Poor diet is just a part of it, in this technological age we move less. I bet if there was a study done, we would see that where our waistlines have expanded, our thumbs (from texting and video games) have gotten quite slim!(but we will get to that later. The Huffington Post talked to Tom Ford about his new line and other things and here is an excerpt:

Time Out Hong Kong caught up with Tom Fordto discuss his upcoming film (he mainly kept mum), pressures of the fashion industry and losing perspective (he now flies “on some commercial planes”) and the industry’s obsession with China.

Writer Kawai Wong asked Ford about his decision to cast top Asian models Liu Wen and Du Juan in his spring/summer presentation, to which Ford responded, “Well, both of them I don’t know very well personally, so I chose them for pure physical beauty. Women with strong character. With strong look.” And when pressed further by Wong — “Do you think people regard these Chinese women as beautiful because of their perceived Western features?” — Ford remarked:

No. I think, and don’t take this the wrong way, all of your questions have a very odd racist slant, because you have grown up here. And don’t take that the wrong way; it’s not a negative thing at all. Honestly, growing up in America and Europe, I don’t think as racially as the questions you are asking.[…]

But I was talking about the Western perceptions of beauty in the Asian face. The yardstick that people measure or judge beauty…

[Interjecting again] I find a lot of different women beautiful. Some women, you know…I hate Jewish girls having their noses done. […] I see beauty, or maybe less beauty. But within every race there are very beautiful examples.

Personally I thought it was a valid question and where Ford’s answer seems copacetic It sounds a bit like avoiding the question especially when Asians, and people of color in general are underrepresented in the fashion industry, and when they are present they do tend to have a more Eurocentric look. so…

Writer Kawai Wong asked Ford another interesting question for Time out Hon Kong

Recently Vogue used a full Asian cast for a shoot. Givenchy also introduced a full Asian cast for their haute couture show. Do you think it’s interesting to see what designers and editors really think about Asian models?
Asia has become a more important market and the 21st century is the Chinese century I think. Chinese Vogue is the number two Vogue in the world now. So [from] a business standpoint it’s only logical. Maybe people who didn’t get it before [slams the sofa with his hand] are getting it now, and they are thinking we’re selling to a country and we need to appeal to their aesthetic of beauty. I think that I’ve actually always understood a reason for diversity in everything I’ve ever done.

 

On whether his line will fit everybody:

Well, I have to say if we have to talk about things like this, Americans are too fat. And in London they are starting to get fat too. So I have to say that if we have to talk about race system and nationalism, I find it refreshing that everyone [who is] Chinese is slim. The only thing we changed [at Gucci] was the width of the nose bridge on eyeglasses because it won’t fit an Asian nose if it’s made for someone’s nose like mine.

I have to say that I think that Tom Ford is a fine specimen of a man but he has always come off a bit pompous  and aloof to me. I would have liked to have heard what he really felt about some of thee questions Kawai Wong posited.

Clearly I did not believe his answers to be, let’s say “complete” but these are the questions that we the consumers who don’t see ourselves in the pages of these magazines and on runways want answers to.

read the rest here

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6 ways I feel good about myself- Makeda Roney

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Our Summer intern 16year old Makeda Roney shares 6 ways she make herself feel better. I love this and I think that everyone should make their own.

Once again I was surfing the web, searching different things like loving your body and I came across a site that talked about “6 easy ways to feel good about yourself ”. I found it very interesting because on my last posts I touched on the topic of loving yourself and your body the way it is. On the site their advice was a bit cliché but good, like exercising and doing things that you are good at to make yourself feel good. It gave me the idea to write my own ideas of 6 ways I that I  make myself feel good  based my experiences. So here is my version of 6 ways to feel good about yourself.

 

1.     When you wake up first thing in the morning, think positive thoughts about yourself.

This is pretty cliche, but it thinking positively really brings a whole new perspective, and helps to start your day off wonderfully. I used to wake up each morning and start off my day thinking negatively about my body and my weight because either I ate too much or I did not exercise enough the day before. To get a second opinion about my self, I would go look in the mirror and if I looked like I gained weight compared to the day before, then I would not feel good about my image and my day would be ruined. I ended up having many bad days from this constant morning assessment about my body and my image and I got tired of it  and I wanted to change it. So, I tried thinking positive thoughts, rather than negative ones about myself each morning and it turned my world around. For some reason, when I thought positively about myself each morning as I woke up, I would feel great and sometimes, I didn’t even have to look in the mirror for a second opinion about my image. I started having more good days than bad days each week and it made me a happier person.

 

2.     When you look in the mirror, try to thing positively about your reflection.

Like I said before, when I look in the mirror I automatically judge myself negatively wishing the mirror would show a different reflection, one that is pleasing to me. I would wish I was thinner or had more muscle tone. I would wish my hair was different or had cheek dimples. Being a dancer, I am always standing and dancing in front of the mirror, so I am constantly judging myself, no matter what, and most of the time those judgments would be negative, affecting my dancing poorly and made me self conscious about my body as well as my dancing. When I started taking Bikram yoga (which is also done in front of mirrors), one of my teachers, Adam, would always tell us things in class like “Find something in the mirror that you loved about yourself” or “When you look at yourself in the mirror though out the class, think good thoughts about your image” and that changed my perceptive on how I felt about my image when I looked in the mirror, not only in Bikram yoga, but also in dance class and everyday life. I started to link my image more and more and accept my body for how it is and I found myself being less self-conscious about my body, my image and my dancing.

3.     When you eat, don’t just eat things that taste good, but also eat things that make you feel good.

Stressing yourself out about the foods you eat is not such a great idea because it won’t help to make you feel good. Although, trying to fit some fresh foods into your diet, might help. It does for me! When I eat only cooked foods and don’t eat any fresh foods, I get really drowsy fast, my energy through out the day goes down and when I am sluggish I am more prone to  injuries. So I make sure that I have at least one meal (out of my three meals) that consists of fresh foods and then I feel great. It helps me to have more energy throughout the day, and I get really good sleep therefore I am not so drowsy all the time.

 

4.     Don’t compare yourself to anybody

Everybody is different, unique and beautiful in his or her own way and comparing yourself to other people doesn’t do you any good. It makes you feel bad about yourself. Being a dancer, I am constantly comparing myself to others, wishing I had their feet or their legs or their extension. Its overwhelming for me after a while because I work so hard to try and make my body or my dancing look like another persons, and it never fully succeeds because we are two different people with two different bodies. I have to realize that and just appreciate myself and what I have (body wise). I can still reach my goals, but I have to work with what I have and not feel depressed because my body doesn’t look like another persons.

 

5.     Find hobbies that make you feel good.

Finding hobbies that makes me feel good about myself takes my mind off of things, like my body and my image. The brain is one part of your body that is constantly used and sometimes it needs its rest. I like to go to yoga, to go swimming, listen to music, cook and read. (Dancing is not a hobby of mine, it is my future career, although dancing is another activity that really takes my mind off of things and makes me feel good, but I when I am training I still have to be critical of myself) After doing my hobbies, my brain feels rejuvenated and I can think a lot clearer. It feels good to have a clear mind every once in a while.

6.     Drink lots of water

Along with eating good foods, drinking water consistently is very important because it cleanses the body. During the summer, the only thing I tend to drink is water and all through out summer my body looks and feels good. Drinking water consistently makes me feel good because I am hydrated,  internally I it cleanses my insides,  and externally I don’t get blemishes all over my skin and my body so I look better plus I feel more healthy.

 

Those six points are my personal 6 feel good “dos” that I found out from my own experiences of trying to find ways to feel good about myself. I exercise those six points everyday and they help me tremendously with my self-consciousness. I feel great about myself more and more each day. But just because it works for me doesn’t mean it will work for everybody, so I hope that my 6 points are really helpful to some of you, they help me. It’s just something to think about

MR

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Tyra Banks in an Bikini

Where it might not be her Sports Illustrated body of old, what she’s working with at 38 years old ain’t nothing to sneeze at. I think she looks fantastic! We have all witnessed her weight fluctuations over the years and everyone remembers when she told the people who were calling her fat to “Kiss her FAT ass” on her show, but it looks like she has come to a good comfortable weight for herself. Realistically (even though she is on television) she is not on the runway anymore so there is no real reason for her to maintain that stick thin stature.

Truth be told one of the reasons she changed her career was because after puberty, when she started to get her curves she was told that she had to lose weight and instead of starving herself, she worked with her genes and became a Victoria Secret model (although these days they look a bit hungry) and a bathing suit model. I think that sends a great message to models, there is a space for you without starving yourself to be a size 0. I also appreciate the fact that often on America’s Next Top Model she supports the models that are not “plus sized” but just fuller when other panelist speak disparagingly about there bodies. Kudos to you m’ lady, work that bikini body, ALL of IT!

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Body Hero Lynne Greenberg’s The Body Broken (Excerpt)


Excerpt: Chapter 1
A Wilderness of Sweets

A wilderness of sweets . . . Wild above rule or art; enormous bliss.

-John Milton, from Paradise Lost

I live on Garden Place in Brooklyn Heights, New York. A sleepy idyll, forgotten in the crazy speed and riot of New York City, it rests outside of time and outside of the cacophony. Only one block in length, the street is made up of single-family town houses and brownstones. Someone usually has to die for a house to go on sale here. Tree branches overhang the street, flowering pink puffballs of cherry blossom in springtime. They create canopies over the children, who are permitted to play ball in the street without supervision. On warm evenings, they gather for capture the flag, skateboarding, and manhunt, screaming “Car!” and racing to get out of the way of the occasional interruption. Everyone on the block dutifully shovels the snow within hours of a blizzard, puts out the trash only on designated garbage days, and responsibly accepts FedEx packages for the neighbors. People’s window boxes change seasonally and predictably: mums in fall, evergreens in winter, daffodils in spring, geraniums in summer. If a baby wails late at night, a family goes on vacation, or a child gets into Harvard, the neighbors are the first to know. The street whispers safety, stability, understated affluence. There should be no failures on Garden Place or bankruptcies or terrors or tragedies. We like to play dress-up at nightmare only. Every Halloween, the block becomes the center of such a maelstrom. It takes off its apron and goes all dark and wild-but only for the night. Unlike people in other parts of the neighborhood, we wait to begin decorating our houses late that afternoon, as if to emphasize that misrule and mayhem, evil and chaos, only occur for one night here and will be exorcised by morning.

In a flurry of activity, we make over the street with only a few hours to spare. The ornamentation is not elaborate; most of the decorations were purchased a decade before and still retain a bit of dust from having been hauled out of the basement. Glow-in-the-dark skeletons hang in effigy out of second-story windows, clumsily carved pumpkins line the stoops, and cobwebs festoon the gates and trees. The homemade, somewhat tattered props suit our block: they shroud it, offering just the right sprinkling of decay and spook to transform the carefully maintained prettiness of our street.

At five o’clock sharp, street traffic is prohibited, and we officially open our doors. Lugging baskets filled with candy outside, every family on the block settles on the front stairs, adults with cocktails, children with macaroni and cheese. My family-my husband, Eric, and two children, Benjamin, thirteen, and Lilly, ten-always invites a crew of extended family and friends to join us. My only rule is that everyone who comes over that night should wear a costume. My love for my family rises exponentially every year as I see them struggle to comply with this rule. My usually elegant brother-in-law Nick permits us to swathe him in purple velvet swashbuckler attire. My mother-in-law, Maria, unrecognizably silly, giggles in a clown costume, while my refined sister Jeanne gets funky in seventies rainbow-colored Afro and platform shoes, and my brother- in-law David raps in a blue polyester tuxedo and bling. My children’s costumes, long discussed, carefully conceived, have evolved in response to their growing maturity: Tinker Bell transformed into a teenage rock star; a dalmatian devolved into Dracula. I tend to like wearing small touches only, usually accessories that somehow hint at my mood that year: a black pointy witch’s hat, crown, Mardi Gras mask, fairy wings.
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Should we Tell Little Girls that they are “Cute”?

I think this is an interesting question taken on by Lisa Bloom in her article How to Talk to Little Girls on
the Huffington Post
Personally I take the same stance as Bloom, there is a part of me that always refrains from calling little girls “adorable” or “cute” even if I think they are. When I see little boys very rarely do I crouch down and tell them how handsome or cute they are right off the bat. With girls I always feel as though if a comment about their appearance is the first thing that I say to them it will send the wrong message about who they are and what is important. Not that being beautiful is a bad thing (hellllo) but the way they look is not who they are, nor is it the totality of their complex being. I think that it perpetuates that sexist stereotype that little girls are made of “Sugar and spice and everything nice” that they are doll-like things to be dressed up, stand quietly, bat their eyelashes and smile demurely when told that they are lovely. I’m not saying that little girls should not be complimented on their appearance, but perhaps it should not be the first thing out of our mouths when addressing them, not only because it says that looks are the most important thing, but also – what happens when someone doesn’t say that they are cute? Children are highly aware of things like that. I know that I was.

From a young age I was a gatherer of adjectives, one’s assigned to me and I was even more acutely aware of the adjectives assigned to others . I was the proud owner of a “cute” or two in my youth, they were short lives years as I grew quickly and my adjectives began more to describe what it did (dance) then what I looked like, (tall, strong) in the dance world my physical attributes were also categorized and assigned, I was Theresa with the “legs and feet”. My adjectives may have been accurate, and even positive, I was “crazy, funny, and smart” but I was painfully aware that I was not “beautiful”, “cute”, or “pretty” and those are the only words that I wanted to attached to me.
I think this is a topic, and a way of being that we need to think about, and address because it is a very real and important issue that has long term, lasting effects.

How to Talk to Little Girls
By Lisa Bloom Author of ‘Think: Straight Talk for Women to Stay Smart in a Dumbed Down World’
Hosted by The Huffington Post
I went to a dinner party at a friend’s home last weekend, and met her five-year-old daughter for the first time.

Little Maya was all curly brown hair, doe-like dark eyes, and adorable in her shiny pink nightgown. I wanted to squeal, “Maya, you’re so cute! Look at you! Turn around and model that pretty ruffled gown, you gorgeous thing!”

But I didn’t. I squelched myself. As I always bite my tongue when I meet little girls, restraining myself from my first impulse, which is to tell them how darn cute/ pretty/ beautiful/ well-dressed/ well-manicured/ well-coiffed they are.

What’s wrong with that? It’s our culture’s standard talking-to-little-girls icebreaker, isn’t it? And why not give them a sincere compliment to boost their self-esteem? Because they are so darling I just want to burst when I meet them, honestly.

Hold that thought for just a moment.

This week ABC News reported that nearly half of all three- to six-year-old girls worry about being fat. In my book, Think: Straight Talk for Women to Stay Smart in a Dumbed-Down World, I reveal that 15 to 18 percent of girls under 12 now wear mascara, eyeliner and lipstick regularly; eating disorders are up and self-esteem is down; and 25 percent of young American women would rather win America’s Next Top Model than the Nobel Peace Prize. Even bright, successful college women say they’d rather be hot than smart. A Miami mom just died from cosmetic surgery, leaving behind two teenagers. This keeps happening, and it breaks my heart.

Teaching girls that their appearance is the first thing you notice tells them that looks are more important than anything. It sets them up for dieting at age 5 and foundation at age 11 and boob jobs at 17 and Botox at 23. As our cultural imperative for girls to be hot 24/7 has become the new normal, American women have become increasingly unhappy. What’s missing? A life of meaning, a life of ideas and reading books and being valued for our thoughts and accomplishments.
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Woman With World’s Biggest Natural Breasts

Hosted by Huffington Post

Meet Norma Stitz.

Née Annie Hawkins-Turner, the 52-year-old for Atlanta, Georgia, has the world’s largest natural breasts (as reportedly confirmed by Guinness) — 102ZZZs. That’s 3.5 feet of cleavage and each side weighs in at 56 pounds.

Hawkins-Turner made headlines on Thursday after appearing on UK’s “This Morning” to talk about her assets with hosts Phillip Schofield and Jenni Falconer.

On getting her first bra when she was 10:

“I don’t know what size I was. I was just big. The only thing I remember about those bras is they were cotton and they stuck out just like footballs and that’s when I knew I was different. Kids are some of the worst people in the world when it comes to picking on people. I was teased a lot.”

On her daily routine:

“When I go out of my house I have to think about what my day is going to be like and who is going to attack me today. Every day someone teases me that doesn’t know me. They make fun of me and there’s no reason. I’m human like everybody else.”
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Body Hero of the Week: Lynne GreenBerg Author of The Body Broken

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If you have been following My Body My Image then you are well aware that the basic principles of the philosophy we hold are based in Acceptance, Appreciation, and Respect for our bodies. Our bodies and the perspectives we have of them are deeply personal and subjective, what we see when we regard ourselves (or others) and how we feel may make no sense to outsiders but it is for better or worse our personal truth, and very real. There is a saying “It’s a fact that you feel but feelings aren’t facts” Others see us and make assumptions about who we are and how we “must feel” about ourselves based on how we look, dress, our comportment and our actions. What you see is never all that you get, there is always something more, deeper, that personal truth.

This what I discovered when I met Lynne Greenberg the author of The Body Broken a memoir that tells of tale of a life of broken bones, a matrix of doctors, specialists, tests, and surgeries that to this day have not eradicated the chronic pain in her head. Through her physical ordeal which began with a car crash when she was 19 years old that left her with a broken neck, the results of which revisited her later in life with an unabated searing pain down the center of her head, she has not merely learned, but has become the embodiment of acceptance, appreciation and respect, for the body, both it’s fragility, it’s resilience, and it’s endurance. This is why she is our BODY HERO of the Week

One of the other things By Body My Image strives to do is to elasticize the concepts of the way we think about our bodies, not only in their size and shape, or beauty but in the respect for the wonder of the functionality of the body as an organism. Involuntarily our hearts beat, our lungs expand and contract oxygenating our blood, we have an internal healing system of white blood cells, we have senses that take in information and inform, warn and give us the ability to experience pleasure and yes pain too. We take such things for granted as we move through our lives until something goes awry. Instead we get caught up in the way we look, the type of clothes we wear and their size, the length of our hair, the size of our hips, noses, or lips. We lose sight of how blessed we actually are to have our health (the rest is mud). This is not an admonishment, not at all, it’s more of a reminder for us all, myself included. When we can put things into perspective, and prioritize what is of importance we can be kinder, gentler, and more compassionate with ourselves and empathetic towards others. This is what Lynne’s story did for me, it grounded me.

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I came to know Lynne through the Ailey School 3 years ago where her son Ben was a student in my class. I quickly dubbed him “Prince Ben” as he put me in mind of an animated Disney prince, with his classic handsome features not yet matured, wavy sun-streaked blond hair, chiseled jaw, and easy going surfer dude demeanor. He’s the boy the girls secretly swoon over. He had a lightness about him, there was no gravity to his person, he wore the air of a young boy who had lived a charmed life, where birds tweeted and landed gently on your shoulder. Birds don’t poop boys like Ben. When I met his mother for the first time it was during a parent observation week. I was delighted to meet her, After all I just had to meet the Queen of this fair Prince. She is a petite woman with the same sun-streaked hair and classic features, she was surprisingly young and cool I could hardly believe she was old enough to have a 13 year old son. I could see where Ben got it from. In my mind it confirmed what I thought I knew, he was charmed boy from a charmed family, who led a charmed life, but I was only half right, there is always more to the story, you just have to keep reading.

Just last week I was speaking with Ben about dance stuff when he told me about his mother’s book and her story. I was awed. I had seen this woman numerous times and never had a clue that all the while we were speaking this smiling engaging woman was in pain. She is always in pain. When he told me about her physical journey, of how she used to be a dancer and even after the car crash she danced in college (it was in fact a part of her rehabilitation). He spoke of the year she was interned to her bed unable to work (she is an associate professor of English at Hunter College) or mother her children (Ben and his younger sister Lilly). He told me of the surgery that stabilized her neck but left her with limited mobility, yet did not alleviate the pain, and how in spite of that she loves to surf, and mix it up with her kids. There was no question in my mind that this woman’s story was something that needed to be a part of this forum. I am humbled and honored to make Lynne Greenberg MBMI’s Body Hero of the week and her memoir The Body Broken (Random House) our Must Read for this summer!

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Reflections of the Week

Do Body -Positive Blogs Really Promote Acceptance?

Film Examines Touchy Intraracial Biases Based on Skin Tones

Fitting into the Latest Styles by Makeda Roney
Introducing Body Hero of the Week Fluvia Lacerda
50 Reasons Why YOU are Beautiful
3 Pearls: Steps to Recovering your Sense of Self
Levi’s Curve ID, are the Bold Bold Enough and is the Supreme Supreme by Taylor Owen Ramsey
Take the Body Image Quiz

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Canadian Model Coco Rocha talks Body Image

Coco Rocha (22) has made a name for her self in the modeling industry not just for her face but because when at 21 and a size 4 she wasn’t getting booked for runway because when was “too big” she rallied back. Instead of starving herself to please designers and booking agents she decided to stand her ground stating “If I want a hamburger, I’m going to have one. No 21-year-old should be worrying about whether she fits a sample size.”

She became very vocal on the topic of barely there models, and vocalized a salient point, models are usually prepubescent
14-15 year olds who have yet to grow into their womanly frames, and when the curves do come the work tends to wane.

“A lot of people don’t take into account the vulnerability of these young girls,” Rocha explained. “They are children. Point closed.”

She even began a blog to talk about the fashion industry from the inside, and topics like this.

She was recently honored by Fashion Delivers, for her charity work for Strut for the Cure and sat down with the Huffington Post for an interview here is a excerpt where she is talking about body image:

 

 

Hosted by Huffington Post

HP: Has there ever been anything for you personally that was controversial or negative that made you speak up?

CR: Yeah, I think there was that, a while back, when they had mentioned that I may have been too big for the runway and took it out of context, and I was kind of upset and felt like, you know, here was the chance for me to explain something to you and you’re taking it way out of proportion. I got to say my opinion and it did even better. My blog turned into a huge phenomenon. I kind of thanked the person for getting it wrong so that I could actually say what I needed to say.

HP: In that regard, I know you’ve previously felt pressured by the industry about your size. Do you think the fashion industry is getting better with the weight talk?

CR: It gets better for those who talk about it. So when I talk about it, people realize, “She has a voice, she’s going to say something, so maybe we should worry about that and worry about Coco’s needs and wants instead of how she looks.” But the girls that don’t say much, it probably still could be hard for them. But for me, personally, I’ve made it better for myself. So I wish I could do it for all the girls and maybe one day we all can do that. But I think it really is up to the girls to stand up for themselves and have that courage to do it, and it will all be okay.