The way we feel in and about our bodies is incredibly subjective, as is our body image. Oft times we don’t get why or how others can feel the way they feel about themselves. Not only that, but we often in those moments we a have need to express our personal feelings about their bodies-that are opposing theirs. For me, (depending on who it’s coming from) it can feel like a negation. Sometimes when you are commenting on yourself, others will project that opinion onto themselves in the form of their perceived idea of judgement you have of them. “If you think you’re fat, then what do you think of ME!?” and it kinda doesn’t work that way. I talked about it in Not Fat Not Thin: The Murky Middle Ground of the Body Image Issue.
Nell Carter a reader commented:
his is an excellent article. As I was reading it, I questioned whether I had responded to anyone describing issues with their body by saying, ‘you look great’ –essentially saying you have nothing to complain about. When people who are either middle ground or thin complain about their body image, it feels incredibly awkward for the onlooker (regardless of the onlookers body type). There is this human urge you get to rescue so to speak. You don’t want this other person (friend or stranger) to feel flawed. Without thinking, you jump to the rescue saying what seems good and correct. Now to think you are stifling those emotions doesn’t cross your mind. How many times do we ‘rescue’ others? What is the best thing to say and do when someone is describing dislike towards their body? Obviously listening is best, but if you don’t respond beyond listening, it could be portrayed as you think the person is flawed.
This perspective is a much more compassionate place, and quite real as well… I like it and because I have not felt that way in those moments, should it come up I will try to shift to that concept!!!
check out the video