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Theresa Ruth Howard Dancer/Writer/Teacher Theresa Ruth Howard began her professional dance career with the Philadelphia Civic Ballet Company at the age of twelve. Later she joined the Dance Theatre of Harlem where she had the opportunity to travel extensively throughout the United States, Europe and Africa. She has worked with choreographer Donald Byrd as a soloist in his staging of New York City Opera's Carmina Burana, his critically acclaimed Harlem Nutcracker, as well as the controversial domestic violence work The Beast. She was invited to be a guest artist with Complexions: A Concept in their 10th anniversary season. In 2004 she became a founding member of Armitage Gone! Dance. As a writer Ms. Howard has contributed to Russell Simmons’ One World magazine (art), and The Source (social politics), as well as Pointe and Dance Magazine. While teaching in Italy for the International Dance Association she was asked to become a contributor for the premiere Italian dance magazine Expressions. Her engaging, no nonsense writing style caught the eye of both the readers of Dance Magazine and its Editor in Chief who not only made her a contributing editor and has collaborated with Ms. Howard in See and Say Web-reviews. Her articles about body image prompted her to develop a workshop for young adult (dancers and non-dancers) My Body My Image that addresses their perceptions both positive and negative about their bodies and endeavoring to bring them closer to a place of Acceptance and Appreciation. She recently launched a blog by the same name to reach a broader audience (mybodymyimage.com) As a teacher Ms. Howard has been an Artist in Residence at Hollins University in and New Haven University in addition to teaching at Sarah Lawrence College, Marymount, Shenandoah, and Radford Universities, and the historical American Dance Festival. As a result of her work at ADF Ms. Howard was invited to Sochi, Russia to adjudicate the arts competition Expectations of Europe and teach master classes, and in Burundi, Africa where she coached and taught the Burundi Dance Company. Currently she on faculty at The Ailey School but also extensively throughout Italy and Canada. Ms. Howard's belief in the development, and nurturing of children lead her to work with at risk youth. At the Jacob Riis Settlement House in Queensbridge New York, she founded S.I.S.T.A (Socially Intelligent Sisters Taking Action) a mentoring program for teen-age girls where she worked to empower them to become the creators of their destinies. In addition she developed a dance program, which lead to an exchange with the Dance Theatre of Harlem. Through her teaching and travels Ms. Howard began to observe a universal disenchantment and disconnection in teenagers that disturbed her, thus she set out to address it. Combining her philosophies of life and teaching, with the skills she garnered through outreach programs with diverse communities, she developed the personal development workshop Principles of Engagement: Connecting Youth to the Infinite Possibilities Within which gives teens a set of workable tools to increase their levels of success at tasks, and goals not only in dance, and all aspect of their lives. Theresa Ruth Howard is certainly diverse and multifaceted as an artist, and is moved to both write and create work; however she sees every student she encounters as a work in progress, and the potential to change the world one person at a time. The only was to make this world a better place it to be better people in it!

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Jennifer Aniston feels better at 40 then she ever has!!

“I feel more comfortable today than I ever did in my 20s or early 30s. I’m healthier. I’m more at peace in my mind and with my body. I’m startin’ to live. It’s good!”

I have to say that Jennifer Aniston does look great, in fact she has continued to get better with age. She has repeatedly talked about eating well and doing yoga and connecting with her mind, body, and spirit. What I love about her body is that she looks fit- not I don’t eat enough and don’t use my body skinny but healthy and strong.

Also it’s important to note for teen age girls, that your body goes through SO many changes while in puberty and after. That slightly pudgy girl can morph into a long leggy lady and the gangely “ugly” duckling can emerge a swan. Adolescence can be a horrible time with all the developments, and acne and then the sexual awakening it’s crazy! And we all know that kids are mean and when they are insecure (which most teens and truth be told adults as we are) they can be down right hateful.

Personally I found that every 8-10 years my body does shows and my metabolism and weight loss/gain shift a bit. Women are like that horse of a different color in the Wizard of Oz. Don’t worry, just learn to take care of yourself and chose Health over Image. If you are looking for a Body Role Model I totally nominate Jennifer Aniston!

So My Teen Queens,if you are stressing about your body don’t. You’ll only get better with age and time because you learn more, know more and at a point you learn to say “to hell” with certain things. Learn how to take care of yourself now so it becomes a lifestyle not a diet merry-go-round. Finally I think Aniston is a role model in another way, for the way she handled herself through that very public divorce and the aftermath which continues to play out in the media, that certainly has made her a better stronger fiercely empowered woman today.

Where nothing I (or anyone else) can say really make it “Better” hold on to this- Everything passes- if you close your eyes on the moon and wake to see the sun you have a new opportunity and you never know what could happen. Moments are Moments because they pass, it’s all about what you do and who you are in those moments that matter!!!

Read more: Jennifer Aniston: ‘Keeping My Butt Toned Is My Biggest Body Challenge’ | FitPerez.com http://fitperez.com/2011-01-19-jennifer-aniston-%e2%80%98keeping-my-butt-toned-is-my-biggest-body-challenge#ixzz1BVJCBrFw

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Bridalpalsty Creating the Bride of Frankenstein

OK at this point I just think that the creators of these competition reality shows are just getting drunk and coming up with the craziest concepts possible to see if people are so stupid desperate for fame or low enough in self esteem as to degrade themselves for money expensive items or hell at this point a bucket of chicken with some honey mustard sauce on the side.

Bridalplasty is the latest. It is a show where women compete for plastic surgery procedures and the wedding of their dreams. In fact the hit the road line is

“I’m sorry you are not top bride, you’ll have a wedding it just won’t be perfect”

What the hell?! It won’t be perfect because you actually still look like the woman your fiance proposed to? Because and you’ll have to pay for your wedding yourself? hummm. I thought weddings were about love and commitment and starting a life with someone- oh hells bell what am I talking about it’s about looking great in a dress and pictures- even if you no longer resemble yourself.

I have watched this show, I have watched it for you, so that I can educate you not because I get a perverse joy out of watching ridiculousness. The best part is when after a girl wins a challenge and she gets a procedure off of her list she is moved into the “Recovery Room” in the mansion. When she is well enough to get around she re-joins her competitors all bandaged and bound. So you have all these women doing testimonials looking like battered wives. Their heads are swaddled after having the fat removed from their cheeks, Their noses are packed after rhinoplasty they sound congested as they do their testimonials. It is just craziness.


How far will it go I have no clue but at a point it has to stop!! I don’t know whether to laugh or cry…

What Makes Body Acceptance Risky Business

This is a wonderful article by Psychotherapist, Author, Speaker where she asks the question of IF there is something dangerous about Acceptance and what does that mean? a great read.

Excerpt:Gloria inspired us all, as she explored feminism among contemporary women and offered new ways of understanding the current climate in which women continue to struggle for equality. “If we are going to change the ethic where size 0 is an admirable norm, then we need to stand up and break the silence,” she guided. “It continues to be the simple acts of speaking out about our truths and challenging the myths” that exposes the cultural lies that harm us, she said.

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Pelvic Alignment Series With Leslie Journet (pt1)

If anyone has taken class with me, or knows me as a dance instructor, the know that I preach the gospel of the pelvis! hallelujah amen!
(pee between your legs *watch and it will make sense)

It was about 6 years ago that I began to study yoga at the Ailey School with Leslie Journet who teaches the Anusara Method. One of the things that made this such a revelatory experience for me was not just the concepts of the method – but the fact that Ms. Journet was a dancer and would constantly relate the yogic intentions for the body with our intentions for the body when we dance. She anatomically, muscularly and energetically broke down pelvic alignment and the issue of tucking under and swaying the back, as well as how to properly turn out – as to support the leg in the joint, create space and more mobility, and prevent injury.

This is the first in the series on the pelvis. I am happy to say that Ms. Journet will be a contributor to the blog with series on the back and balancing the feet. You are in for a treat!!!! Enjoy and study!

Side note: Leslie was the friend who inspired the piece Unbroken!!!
read Unbroken here
Part II

Wendy William’s looks hot!

Howw You Dowwwin?

You know I love The Wendy. Shes a big (tall) woman and on television she looks HUGE, mainly because all the Hollywood stars are hungry hobbits. Here is some footage of Mz.Williams in a bikini and she looks stunning- and even give her catch phrase. She never disappoints!!

Sugar babies THAT’S 46~

Black Swan- or Black Stain on the Ballet World?

I was extremely leery about seeing Darren Aronofsky’s Black Swan, frankly I’m leery about seeing any dance film, however I did summons the fortitude to take it in. I was enticed not solely by the hype of how phenomenal it was but also because of the looming Oscar buzz building around lead actress Natalie Portman. The buzz was not merely about her acting but her physical transformation. It is well known that when beautiful actresses go “ugly” for a film their chances for earning an Academy Award more than double, likewise if an actor gains or loses a great deal of weight to embody the character, they are almost a shoe in, at the very least for a nomination. Since there has been much ado about Portman’s 20-pound weight loss in the preparation for the role, I thought: me being who I am, doing what I do, am I not compelled to see the film so that I could be informed and contribute to the conversation?

I was a bit taken aback when I heard about this weight loss, I mean it sounded quite excessive considering that I could have never imagined that Lil’ Natalie Portman had 20 pounds to spare let alone lose. Had it been an actress of a more substantial physical stature I might well understand but Portman is naturally petite woman. Standing 5’3 she is already “Hollywood” thin which probably make her about a sample size 2 at the most, which is thinner than your average thin American woman, she is probably about the size and weight of an actual ballet dancer. What exactly was there to lose? Now before you launch in to the whole “But her character was having a psychological break, she was obsessive compulsive, and extreme, had an eating disorder and was picking twigs out of her back.” I get it, I truly do. I get that Portman went all “method” on us, I get that ballet dancers are twisted and warped and that Aronofsky was taking us on a journey into the darker side of the reality of the world of ballet. But there something else bothered me about the whole body thing surrounding this movie and I wanted to get the bottom of it.

In order to suss out what was stuck in my craw about this thing, I started to ask around, sometimes hearing other people’s perspectives can help me define my own. In preparation for this piece I had numerous conversations about the movie and some of the issues surrounding it. I spoke with the accompanist for my pointe classes, students, other dance teachers, choreographers, some parents, and friends. Most were fervently in defense of the movie and it’s portrayal of ballet dancers, and that world. They kept reminding me that it was from the perspective of a girl was having a psychotic breakdown. Trust me I get it, I get it! Most wanted to tell me that the Ballet world is like that, and these things to do happen. Well, I am a ballet dancer, and I know. I have known, have seen, and have myself been an obsessed bun head, with disordered eating and have cried over everything from double pirouettes not working, to not being cast. I even had that ballerina jewelry box, and though I did not have a ballet mother I had a ballet father who sewed pointe shoes and learn terminology and technique, he could trace ballet history form Diaghilev to Nureyev. Trust me, I get it. I know the hateful underbelly of the life of a swan. In truth, I am a “black” swan, and that’s a head-trip of another variety so please spare me the educational lecture about the world of ballet.

Full disclosure, all of these conversations happened before I relented my resistance to seeing the movie. Once I did, I discovered that what bothered me about the whole weight loss issue was not the actual act. I applaud Portman’s dedication to the role and the authenticity of her process, she lived, breathed (and evidently given her pregnancy and engagement to the films choreographer and her onscreen partner Benjamin Millepied) slept (with) Ballet. What crystallized for me was that I was taking issue with, and have concern about the language Portman used when promoting the film in regards to her preparations, and her perception of dancers and their world. You may find it nit picky but words have power, they create ideas, and belief systems. I tend to get a bit protective of the image of dancers, specifically ballet dancer (that of which I am one) and the drama, intensity, and dysfunction that is associated with us. Granted some of it is true and warranted but there is a hyped up mythology that surrounds dancers, and their lives that contributes to some degree to the detrimental behaviors real and those attributed to our field. I am protective of the marketed image and the idea and lives of dancers because long before young aspiring dancers master the techniques, often they take on the posturing of what they think they are supposed be; they dress a certain way, talk, walk act a certain way emulating a warped version of their idea of the real thing. They become heavy handed caricatures of what they idolize. Working from the outside in they give they credence to the adage “Dress for the job you want not the job you have” this can be highly detrimental because key elements in the marketed concept of how dancers are has to do with a level of dysfunction, obsession and the almighty ego. The latter can be the greatest undoing to a budding dancer. As a dance educator let me tell you it is all that pre-programmed information I, and my fellow colleagues have to wade through in order to get to the actual work.

Please let me explain my issue surrounding the film.

In the promotion of the film Portman told several media outlets that she trained for over a year for the role, she worked for 16 hours a day with Mary Helen Bowers the Founder of Ballet Beautiful learning to dance in the studio, lifting weights the gym and swimming to create the muscular definition and length associated with a ballerina’s form. This is all well and good, and quite understandable, there are many dancers who now cross train and for a non-dancer to obtain the physique of a trained professional dancer in one year it is understandable, and possibly even necessary to give the body balance. Though it is difficult, really impossible to cram ten years of a type training that permeates every facet of your physicality like dance into one year. Where one can achieve is the “look” of a dancer- the musculature, and the very specific blend of elegance, athleticism and strength, the realistic natural, “dancerly” comportment of a ballerina, the Port de Bra (carriage of the arms) is another story entirely. The former is is what Portman and her co-star Mila Kunis were trying to embody.

Mary Helen Bowers Founder of Ballet Beautiful and Portman’s couch for the film talks about their process

Workout here

The reason dancers look the way they do is because they do what they do, the work of dancing creates the look. If you are physically active for 6-8 hours a day your body is going to reflect that in tone, strength and size (based on you genetics of course) These markers of were going to be especially apparent on a person who is not used to working so vigorously as Ms. Portman certainly was not. Once she embarked on her training regimen her body was naturally going to change and she was (without effort) going to slim down. At her size she would no doubt be skin and bones without trying. The part that baffles me is the fact that she decided to restrict her diet whilst in this process. Portman is already a vegan therefore she does not eat dairy, sugar, or animal flesh hence her caloric and natural fat volume could not have been very high to begin with and certainly not high enough to support her new training regime. Perhaps because her character was so emotionally unstable and obsessively striving for perfection, it was a natural choice that she would have an eating disorder and self mutilate. That I can understand, and that does happen, crazy people do crazy things and there are some crazy dancers. However when promoting the movie she discusses her choice to restrict her food intake as if it was the norm for dancers period-not disturbed dancers whose reflections wave back at them.
“>
This clip of Portman man on ABC news is a perfect example

Ok ok I hear all of you out there saying “What are you talking about it is the norm!” Let me explain the way I see it before you bust a gasket.

I will be the first to say that weight and body image issues are huge in the dance world hence I stared my blog mybodymyimage.com to combat it. I am acutely aware of the issues; hell I am a product of them. I would say that 96% of dancers are disordered eaters, restrict and are almost obsessively aware of what they eat (or do not)- so it sounds like I agree with Ms. Portman- In a sense I do, but I will go a step further to say that dancers are no different than models, actresses, and some athletes. Most professions that are physical, performance aesthetically oriented have these same issues attached to them. Any time your appearance or where your physical performance is the product, the people who participate in those feilds with have some level of disorder where food and body image are concerned. Disordered eating is akin to but not the same as having an eating disorder. Restricting or have disordered eating does not necessarily mean that you are unhealthy. I am not advocating for disordered eating, I know that it is one slippery step away from full-blown eating disorders. I am saying that it is equally as common in other fields and professions as it is in dance. As an actress, Portman I am certain is well aware of it. We hear stories of actors and actresses dieting and not eating for days before awards shows, or fighting to stay “camera” thin. We see actors in between projects who plump up then slim down again when they go back to work. There is absolutely no difference! Dancers relationship to food and weight have not been “blown” out of proportion, I won’t even say that has been greatly exaggerated, but I will say that it is not as strange a concept as some would have you believe.

Keith Jackson former tight end for the Eagles, Dolphins, and the Packers used to jokingly say, “I could eat or diet my way out of a contract” He had strict weight guidelines that he had to adhere to. And what of Olympic gold medalist Michael Phelps’ 10,000-12,000 calories a day training diet excessive? See here

What it is, is part of your job. Yes it can screw you up in the head, yes it can be detrimental to your health when taken too far or goes on too long but it is not uncommon. Dancers are not singular or special in this context. We are not superheroes or gladiators, we are not long suffering in matyrs for art. Please what we are is trained to endure what is necessary to execute our jobs. We don’t expect to be worshiped, it is a day at the office- you don’t feel like you do anything special until that curtain goes up and people applaud. It’s like firemen, policemen and people who serve in the armed forces they don’t go to work every day like “Wow I’m an everyday hero” (Note: nor to teachers and educators) they simple go to work and do the jobs they were trained to do. To an outsider these things that dancers do and the things we endure seem excessive but they, to us are not. Like Actors, singers, athletes are people doing a job, so are dancers, and they are just as twisted (if not more) than we are.

More articles in Natalie’s words

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Perhaps what lay people don’t know or get about the ballet aesthetic is that a large portion of it simply comes from simply doing the work and feeding your body smartly. Think about it: if you take a technique class for an hour and a half and then rehearse for another 6-7 hours your body is going to look a certain way, period. I have witnessed it in myself and with young dancers who after completing their first season with a company, because of the workload and schedule they come back ripped and lean, and that doesn’t mean that they are not eating. That‘s one great thing about being on tour when it comes to calories its Burn Baby Burn!

What I find ironic is that the dancer that was used to be Portman body double, American Ballet Theater’s Sarah Lane was by dancer’s standards, healthy looking she’s tiny but not anorexic skinny or frail.

by contrast Portman’s unstable Nina

While we are on the subject of body double’s doing the dancing and irony, for all the training that Portman did, there were very few scenes where we see her actually dancing. There were above the waist shots where she “looks” like she’s dancing, there are Swan like rippling arms but when it came to hitting a step Lane was used and most of those scenes where shot from a distance and through the mirror. I will give Portman credit for the one scene where we actually saw Portman being partnered by Millepied on pointe, I even remarked that she had pretty good feet. Then there was the cringe worthy moment when Mila Kunis has stepping in for her after their wild night out. Nina is late and is told to warm up, she proceeds to go to the barre and do some really technically horrendous tendus. All was forgiven though when Kunis’ Lilly asks her “Did you have a lezzie wet dream about me? Was I good?” that push those flawed tendus right out of my mind.

Look we are all painfully aware (and sort of sick and tired of) the most recent idea of “The Ballerina” What is important to know is that throughout history she has changed her look several times. The ballerinas of the 1930’s and 40’s the heyday of the Ballet Russe where quite stocky and muscular. They did not look as if they’d missed a meal.


It was George Balanchine who revamped the Ballerina’s look. Where he gave her more freedom of movement, the look he had an affinity for restricted her diet. It is this aesthetic that we cling to today; she is petite, fragile, pale and hungry. That is our idea, however the truth of who the classical ballerina is has some (not a great deal, but some) diversity. She may be super tiny a là pin thin (and often criticized for it) New York City Ballet’s Wendy Whelan

or you may look like NYCB’s long leggy Maria Kowroksi

the voluptuous American Ballet Theatre’s Misty Copeland and who is built like Jessica Rabbit in a tutu.


Or one of my favorites Sofiane Sylve.

Both Misty, Maria, and Sofiane look like real women, instead of prepubescent girls, all these women are incredible ballerinas. Where Classical ballet is still quite elitist, racist and antiquated, it is Contemporary Ballet that is the liberator of the Ballerina- Contemporary Ballet the woman’s movement for the Ballerina.

I will close by saying that I enjoyed Black Swan. I thought it was highly entertaining albeit disturbing. I also found it highly comical for some the trite dance movie myths that were included, let’s just say that if you make it to the level of Soloist, you are not hobbled by a cracked toe nail, and when it does crack you can’t hear it. It doesn’t sound like my dog when she gets a hold of a chicken bone, and I have not idea who does fouette turns in their living room, who in New York has the space? and if you did you would most certainly have a square of Marley dance floor. I applaud scenes that worked to show the more realistic elements of the ballet world, physical therapy goes kind of like that, the burning of the ribbons so they don’t fray, all insiders knowledge and truthful. Ultimately I took it for what it was but had to make a statement and stand to say that dance is not the only place where this type of dysfunction exists, and when it happens where ever it happens it is egregious and harmful.

That’s my two cents, you can keep the change.

* personally I have adopted one of the lines from the movie as my new tag phrase “I’m the Swan Queen!” Because Portman gave you a little bit of “Sister” in the delivery. Of course I as a Dammit at the end- I’m the Swan Queen Dammit!”

Dance Movie Myths: Let’s set the Record Straight

I have to confess I have an aversion to dance movies, in my opinion a good let alone realistic one hasn’t been made since The Turning Point in 1977 unless of course you go back to the 1948 classic The Red Shoes. What is often most bothersome to me (and to most real dancers) about these movies is the hyperbolic way they portray our world. They simply try too hard to make dancers (especially ballet dancers) and our world something intense and, dramatic, catty and full of angst. T’ruth be told, it does have its fair share of drama, albeit most professions do. Perhaps ours seem more flamboyant because the end product is so theatrical. It could be because so little is actually known about what takes over the 10-15 years of training to become an inhabitant. There is an exclusivity, it is a world foreign to most, rarefied in a way, and there are so few non- dancers are able to get inside it in order to understand the sanity of the insanity if the world. It’s not just a job or a lifestyle; it is a mentality, a way of thinking that shapes the dwellers perception of the world both on and off stage. It is akin to the world professional sports, what you see, though oft times a glamorized exaggeration, is in fact true, but it is not the totality of that truth. Without the “Why’s” for the way things are, it just looks extreme and crazy. To understand it you would have to live it.

Since Black Swan is the current dance movie has brought the dance genre to the fore, I thought now would be a perfect moment to debunk some of the stereotypical myths dance movies love to promote. Some you will find in Aronofsky’s movie but they are ever present in films like Center Stage, Save the Last Dance, Fame (the original and the re-make) and The Company. Here I will deconstruct why those seemingly obligatory scenes in dance movies cause *real dancer to roll their eyes or giggle to the irritation of other audience members. It’s pretty simple, we get annoyed or tickled mainly because we know that these things just don’t happen-or at least not quite that way. Please let me explain:

The Myth 1: There are “Good” Girls and “Bad ”Girls: These simplistic characters are it present in most formulaic movie and television plots, well they have not been lost in dance films. The good girl (usually the protagonist) is recognizable in all the trite and true ways, she wears lighter colors, follows the rules and is just trying to do her best by everyone, her director, her fellow dancers and her love interest. She doesn’t drink, smoke, party, and has sex only when she is believes that she is truly in love, oh right it’s a dance movie so she doesn’t eat. The bad girl, is of course the antithesis, she wears dark clothes has a biker, rocker attitude complete with tattoos, booze, drugs, is slutty if not down right whorish, oh and she doesn’t give two shits what she eats, and she ain’t throwin’ up either! In the end she will probably end up getting kick out of the company or program, but she’ll let it roll off of her back because she’s already decided that she can make more money as a stripper.

The Truth: I know it’s a movie, and I doubt if creating characters with complexity and depth is really the goal in this genre. Real dancers are real people whether in a dance studio, on stage, walking the dog or doing a shot, they are as complex if not more then a doctor, schoolteacher, mother, or a waitress. We get that screenwriters are trying to make a point but it borders on offensive when you think that this is the best they care to create. These shallow characters, with the either/or good/bad polarities only reinforce the fallacy that that in order to be a great artist you have to be neurotic. When “bad” girls are displayed as the girls who have something of a “normal” life outside of the studio, (all of which is considered negative in the context of the dance world) it implies that somehow having a “balance” in life means that you is less dedicated. It’s just wrong. The concept that dedication, and passion equals myopia, and obsession, is part of the myth that makes dancers look crazy, and that just isn’t true.

Here’s the thing: part of what makes artists rich, multidimensional are their choices, and it is the breadth of their experiences and their ability to reference that informs them. You source your characters from the totality of your experiences – good, bad, sweet naughty or nice you have to have them. One last thought on this topic, dancers are like Catholic schoolgirls, it’s always the ones you least expect that are doing some of the wildest stuff, I’m just sayin’

The Myth 2: In the middle of a rehearsal an insolent arrogant dancer (usually the rebel) talks back to the artistic director or choreographer (who no doubt has a towel draped around his neck).

The Truth: Depending on the type of company you are dealing with (ballet, modern, contemporary, downtown- big, small, pick-up etc.) the dynamics will differ. These movies are usually about big juggernaut companies or arts school, when companies are big or historical there is usually an old school hierarchy where respect trickles down from the top and usually runs out around about the middle. You just don’t come out of your face at certain people. No one, new dancer or old who what’s a job has that much hubris. Now in smaller companies you might find a bohemian, collaborative sort of feel in these or newer companies these scenarios might be possible if not believable.

Having graduated from an arts school and having been a dancer in both ballet, post modern and contemporary companies, let me assure you these sorts of tirades from dancers towards directors are few and far between. If there is an outburst most commonly it is between two people on the same power level. When it does happen generally it doesn’t just pop off, there is some underlying subtext going on, some pressure build up. If it does occur, be sure there are repercussions and they are likely to be*more dramatic then presented in cinema.

To fully understand why incidents such as these seldom occur you must understand the environmental behaviors of dancers in the studio. We [dancers] *can be attitudinal and arrogant but these things are played out with graceful subtlety. We throw what is called shade.

Shade – (verb) to do things undercover, sneaky, untrustworthy, two faced, duplicitous.

We are by our very nature shady creatures. In the studio most feelings of anger frustration, or dislike are not overtly displayed or verbalized but rather expressed in veiled and coded body language. In the studio dancers are very often muted characters their personalities and opinions are reduced to mumbles under their breath as they feign stretching with their backs to the object of their disdain. With head down over a ballet barre or with forehead to leg they throw shade (check the vocabulary word) and “read” directors and fellow dancers.

To Read- (verb) to made a biting, often evil comments about a person place or thing; a spiteful opinion, or hateful truth, sometimes a bit of gossip. Example: “She’s so turned in it’s a wonder she doesn’t step on her own toes”

Along with undercover mumbled reads, apropos to the field, dancers also communicate their irritation and anger through subtle pantomime and facial expressions; the smirk, the shift of the eye to or away from a person, the turning one’s back says volumes. Dancers are adroit at camouflaging such behaviors, as we live in a world reflected (studios are walled with mirrors) thus one must be careful that an opinion no matter how slightly manifested in gesture is not caught by the wrong person at the right time.

Now the world of dance and its inhabitants are not without verbalized drama. Oh dancers know how to used their voices, but only in choice places. It is in the dressing room where true tirades happen. Dancers love to bitch to one another, albeit in a place where prying, tattling eyes and ears are limited. In safe zones gatherings of trusted colleagues vocalize their feelings. It is understood that these read and bitch fests are “privileged” and off the “official” record. They happen in dressing rooms, and walks to and from the subway, dancers rail over copious bottles of wine in apartments or restaurants (yes we do drink, some of us like fishes- another myth but to rest), we bitch about casting, and politics, money, our bodies, we imitate directors, choreographers and other dancers (some in present company for jokes, more often absent from the gathering, for jabs). We are capable of saying hateful things, or harsh truths behind one another’s backs. That having been stated, when approached by an authority figure most dancers are rendered struck deaf, dumb and mute. They are like the three monkeys see no evil, hear no evil speak no evil. They seldom stand up form themselves let alone others for fear of retaliation from the powers that be. Rarely are there face-to-face showdowns and when there are, they are not in the studio. Oh how I wish they were, then maybe some issues might actually get solved. Now, those in authority have the license to go off when ever and where ever they choose and they do. That’s a truth and *those tirades are built for filmmakers. Alas the lowly inhabitants of the dance world are not by nature confrontational creatures in the face of authority, all their “drama” is internalized, subtext and subtext is hard to catch on film.

The Myth 3: The artistically frustrated outburst: Picture a ballerina frustrated at not being able to execute a phrase, she drops to the floor in a heap, tears of her pointe shoes and hurls them across the room.

The Truth: Wait a second now I have seen this one; I have seen this one back stage during an actual performance of Serenade. So I won’t say that this one isn’t true, dancers often act like petulant children during the process, however outbursts such as these occur when the artist reached an internal critical mass or perhaps, they are a drama queen by nature, we do have them. What is more common is the progression leading up to that point which looks more like a grunt of irritation, a stomp of a foot and then dejected walk to a corner of the studio for a sulk, or quiet tearing up. Not too exciting externally, not overtly cinematic, that’s because you can’t see their internal landscape, inside there could be a perfect storm brewing, all sorts of things are being stirred up that go to inadequacy, aging, fear of the next one taking your place, pain, injury, and fatigue. You can be sure that while that dancer is having “a moment”, others are reading her either because she is the resident drama queen and they are over it having seen it one too many times, the day is too long to deal with an attention seeker, or they might feel like she should have never been cast in the first place, hence she should be crying. Either way no one pays much attention because they are dealing with their own internal landscape that needs manicuring. Thus the dance is left alone to work through the emotion on their own and then get back to work.

The Myth 4: (These scenes in dance movies really irk me) The backstage wing scenes. There is always the person who shouldn’t be there who is standing in the wing enraptured clutching the light boom coveting either the dancer on stage or their role, whilst dancers oblivious to their presence whiz by them to make exists or entrances.

The Truth:
These things just don’t happen, not like that. Backstage, if you don’t belong there, someone is going to rip you and new one for clogging the wing or being in the way. If it’s not a dancer trying to enter or exit, it will certainly be a stagehand. Stagehands are not joke. This is a work place and there is a backstage etiquette observed by show people, if you are not working in the show you shouldn’t be there and if you are allowed to observe you stand back- way back, out of the wing and out of the way. People have a job to do, the pace is quick, transitions crucial, and it can be dangerous if you don’t know what’s going on. Performers are in the zone of sorts, and focused. They talk to one another for sure, but to an idle observer between entrances, rarely. If you are so brazen as to sneak back stage during a performance when you are not supposed to be there you surely risk the wrath of someone harshly telling you to get the hell out of the way, (don’t take it personally – but move the hell out of the way!). At times there are guests backstage, people there to observe but they stay out of the flow of traffic like a fly on the wall. When they catch a dancers eye there is often a cursory “hi” or “hey” perhaps just a quick polite smile of acknowledgement from the performer who more than likely in their head is pondering, “Who the hell is that, and why are they back here?” There are no full-blown introductions or conversations about where this relationship is going, or why did you cheat on me? Please!

The Myth 5: After every successful performance dancers erupt into whoops and cheers.

The Truth: Not that there isn’t an incredible excitement when a ballet goes for the first time or when someone dances a new role but the adulation tends to be once again muted while on the actual stage. You are still at work, there is a curtain call to be done and frankly there is an audience in the house. I will tell you that there is often a cacophony of excitement in the stairwells and hallways leading —that’s right to the dressing rooms, there safely out of earshot of the audience there are whoops and hollers, some tears and of course some shade being thrown and people reading!

The Myth 6:
Oh the Pain of it all. Dance movies love to highlight the physical pain and suffering that dancers endure, when someone gets injured there is always a loud crack! And a dramatic fall to the floor. There are shots of stiff upper lips and the stifled wincing and bleeding of toes.

The Truth:
The life of a dancer is physical and hard on the body. It is arduous work and it can be is painful. There are some horrific injuries that happen and some of them are audible. What makes viewing dancers roll their eyes when watching scenes like these is the over dramatization of the daily pain. Here’s the truth, if you have trained for the 10-15 years it takes to become a professional dancer then the daily rigors, aches and pains are nothing more to you then the back ache or carpel tunnel syndrome an office worker sitting at a desk all day typing experiences. It is par for the course, and waking up to the click clack of joints and tight muscles are normal- it’s a state of being not necessarily “suffering.” To dancers this level of aches and pains, discomfort is akin to the soreness a normal person who go to the gym daily feels. To a lay person who is not acutely aware or in tune with their bodies it may sound like hell to in some form or fashion be sore all the time, but we have trained our bodies for years and this is for us normal, after a point you don’t even think about it because you don’t know any different. I’m sure that garbage men feel their backs from the constant hoisting of cans, hairdresser their legs from standing, musicians often lose a portion of their hearing, Wall Street Traders are constantly stressed and all of our presidents have gone gray, it’s not deep, it’s part of the job. It’s just a day at the office to us, it’s not dramatic, injury however can be.

Finally I think that Myth 7 is hysterical, Love in the studio: Every dance movie is really a backdrop for a love story. I’m not saying that love is not found in the dance studio, but have you noticed that in all of these movies the “romance” is between men and women, come one now. Do I really need to go any further with this one?

The Truth: Let’s just say that if there are any gays serving in the military that want a profession where they can be out and be open, they should become dancers because there is no such thing as “Don’t ask, Don’t tell” in our world. I’m not saying that you can’t find straight male dancers (and for sure if you do they do tend to be man-whores, most time having slept with a number of the women in the company what with the ratio being what it is) but it is more common to see romance bloom between two male company members, given the numbers. There are some hetro- romances that happen in the studio, even those that happen between dancer and director, but if you wanted a realistic portrayal of the dance world, then you’re going to have to get your man love on.

These are my 7 top ten myths of irritation when it comes to dance films. That’s my 2 cents you can keep the change!