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Wendy Williams and Norma Kamali- an Ironic contradiction…

Ok so first let me state that I am a Wendy Williams fan. Most times I think that she is funny, sassy and “says it like she means it”  but there are other times when  take issue with what she “means” and her perspective on things. Case in point we differ on the Taylor Swift situation.

Wendy’s point of view: She applauds Swift for Doing her thing and going after the guys she wants (very modern woman – not waiting for a man to come and get her) Wendy says that she thinks that Swift runs a cleaner game than some of the other chicks on the scene right now because she still has a squeaky clean image and runs through men like tampons (I’m not saying she’s sleeping with all of them but, you have to admit that she goes through some dudes) In the post script Swift makes money off of the failed relationship by writing songs about them. Wendy thinks Swift’s behavior is admirable, she is young, rich , beautiful she should have her fun.

Now in my opinion I too think that Swift is young, rich and talented, I think that she does have the right to date anyone she pleases but the thing that makes my teeth itch about Swift and the way she rolls, is that she has this twisted sense of modern feminism – wherein the end result is a throw back to the 1950’s pre- women’s liberation movement. Let me explain. I think that it is great for women (young or old) to go for who and what they want, why not it’s 2013, but there is something that disturbs me when it seems that a girl/woman can’t be without a man. This is how I see Swift’s behavior. She boy hops without taking a breath, she seems to be running all over the globe and if she is not flying a boy to see her, she is flying to meet him, and they are always slammed up underneath each other (and the paparazzi) until, well until they are not, and then it starts with another young man. Now I do take it into consideration that part of this might well be for press but it does create her public image- that of which she sells..

Where it is fierce that she makes enough money to live a lifestyle that affords her the ability to jet set (for love) but there is something that appears desperate and needy about it. She is busy (seemingly) independent young woman, why is she always toting a dude around like a purse? Then there are the songs about the failed relationships in which somehow (although I have not listened to all of them – she wore me out a long time ago) she always sounds like she has been wronged. And Let’s face it, it generally takes two- AND if you have had a record breaking amount of breakups in a short span of time, the only common denominator is YOU so …  not so fast Swift!  Now it’s so common place I can’t image why any guy in the public eye would want to date her!- she seems vindictive. And I better not EVER hear her crying about privacy when you put all of YOUR and SOMEONE else’s personal business out in the street.

The other thing that irks me about Taylor Swift (this is less about Ms. Williams) but I just need her to find something else to talk/write/sing about. The fact that her whole image, her whole claim to fame is about singing her break up diary is a throw back- to a time when that is all that women were expected, encouraged, and permitted to do!

I mean the early 1900’s women of Downton Abbey are more progressive then Taylor Swift at this point! 

I just want Swift to read a book, go to a museum, travel to a far away place, spend time in a ashram, a kubbutz get enlightened, do something that she can write about besides the boys she runs after (and that’s what it looks like, that she is running after them). She is becoming whiny and annoying even to girls her age. Her whole 1950’s look matches her behavior and personally I don’t think it’s a great example for what our young women should aspire to. The one thing I will give her is that she does not strip down- other then that she is not a service to the cause.

 

But back to the point at hand which is something that happened on today’s Wendy Williams show. During hot topics Wendy was talking about the possible separation of Carmelo Anthony and LaLa. Well she went on to say that if they do get divorced that LaLa should get out of Reality television (which I agree with) ’cause here show was corny (which I agree with) and that she should take half of Anthony’s money (I think that is just tacky) and not date athletes or rappers (ok I can see that) but she should seek to get on the board of the Guggenheim where she could me a higher strata of rich man to marry (ok this is where we part ways) WTF! I get it, TRUST me I get it but as a Elder…THIS is your advice? How about GO to the Guggenheim and learn about art, invest in great pieces, and support artist? How about you are an intelligent, business woman find a new venture and raise your son, if love finds you (and he’s rich) go for it. But that mind set is just… I can’t get down with that. This is why so many girls are out there selling their asses (or giving it away- or just showing it off) in hopes of finding some man to fleece! It’s a hot mess! And though I love Wendy this is where I have to say uh I pass.
she talks about what LaLa should do if they divorce starting 2:50

Norma Kamali is so beautiful, I think she looks fabulous! (just sayin’)

BUT HERE IS THE CRAZY IRONY OF TODAY’S SHOW:
she mentions the initiative @ 3:46

So legendary designer Norma Kamali was a guest on the show and she presented her “everyday woman line” complete with a fashion show (of course) and then at the end Wendy says that she wanted to give Kamali a moment to speak about her initiative which (and here is the irony–at least for me) it was about her New Campaign to Empower Women! to STOP OBJECTIFICATION! Which is almost diametrically opposing the position Wendy takes in some of her hot topic chats. Now it could be that Wendy’s idea of empowerment is different from mine and Kamali’s but I just thought that it was crazy. So much of the behavior that Wendy advocates are (in my opinion) by products of the objectification of women, the female gender and form. From the concepts of beauty, to gender roles in relationships, to power money and control…the thing is that from seeing how WENDY lives her life i don’t quite believe that she feels that way- she is a self made women, hard working and self sufficient. Here husband is now her manager but I don’t thing that she “married up” as she would say- and I don’t think that there is anything wrong with that but when it is a goal… not so sure.

Well that’s my 2 cents you can keep the change!

Guilty (but forgivable) Pleasures, Uncategorized

What do your Clothes say about You? Nun’s Speak about their Uniforms

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A few weeks ago I stumbled upon this interesting video of a group of Nuns discussing what their uniforms mean to them and how they make them feel. I found it so interesting. I have always found Nuns to be so very mysterious and interesting, with there dark dresses, habits, and that ubiquitous cross dangling around their necks.

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To me they always looked so otherworldly (now I unlike my brothers and sisters did not go to Catholic school, I am sure their ideas about Nuns are quite different). I think the fact that their uniform represents a job, or profession but a way of life, a belief, and most profoundly a commitment to God is what is so intriguing. The fact that it is such a visible sign makes it in a way courageous and valiant. That couples with the fact that by wearing it I know you are not having sex… (To me I always go there, sorry) I know I am romanticizing what it really must be, but I think that when we see people like Nuns, or Tibetan Monks in the their brown and saffron robes, it has that effect.

It got me thinking about the “uniforms” that we wear in life, and the how they make us feel to wear them, and the perceptions that others have of us in them. As a New Yorker, rush hour is a mish mosh of people in their (let’s call them) “Life Uniforms” from the students’ (private, Catholic and even public school) dress code, to hospital workers, security guards, postal, Fed Ex, or UPS men and women. There are the various less official uniform uniforms in the various types of business and office dress. The office attire of the the lawyer, broker, real estate agent, and banker differ from that of the bank teller, or office manager, not just in the quality and cut of the suit, skirt, jacket and accessories but in the styling. There is so much that our clothing and comportment tell about us all without saying a word. Our personal style and choices of adornment are identifiers whether we are aware of it our not. It tells if we go with the crowd, or prefer to be more of an individual, sometimes it shows that “Who we are” is not necessarily connected to “What we wear” and that, in and of it self can say a great deal.

Actor and Drag Personality RuPaul said:

“We are born naked the rest is drag”

 

I have to agree. Now in all fairness rush hour is not the best time of day to judge who people are from what they are wearing, as most people work in places where there is a dress code of sorts, hence what they are wearing is not necessarily indicative of their personal style. However there are other times when you can discern the personal uniforms of people. There is the cool teen drag (a la Gossip girl) the Emo teen, the Pseudo fashionistas (the woman that works hard to be on trend on a budget) the true fashionistas (often not on the subway) the model (skinny jeans, either a slouchy sweater or a flannel shirt, ankle boots rocker style, maybe folded down, a short jacket, and maybe a funky hat hippy hair or messy bun, and a cool leather messenger or hobo bag, with a her book) there is always the Japanese hipster who always makes you wonder, “Where the hell did she get that?”. There are the urban brown girls and boys (either African American or Latina- both in North Face jackets, Tims, boys in slouchy over-sized jeans and sweatshirts, the girls in skinny jeans that are a bit too tight, with a shirt that is a bit too small, and the nails are done and for the black girls there is always a wig or weave that is slightly in need of attention, the Latina girls tend to feature the wet look curls or the super slick side weep, or ponytail). There are the workout people, in LuluLemon and sneakers, there are the Upper west side moms with strollers and snacks in baggies, the Dad’s with their sons who are dressed as their mini me’s, there are the college students with a hodgepodge of styles that don’t really match but that is the “look” they have a backpack loaded with books. There are musicians with instruments in various sized case, and nondescript professionals that are in a more artistic or liberal field exhibited by either a funky haircut or unconventional style of dressing. It’s all drag….

There is one thing that I have discovered that is a part of almost everyone’s uniform these days and that is headphones and either a phone, Ipad, or gaming system…

I take Bikram yoga, and in the dialogue Bikram refers what you are wearing for class as “your costume”. When I first heard it I thought that is was funny. Since Bikram is Indian I thought that it was an issue of meaning skewed in translation, and perhaps it was but; I find it ironically truthful. The things we wear are in fact a type of costume. We dress in a manner that we think represents who we are and what we are about, or in a manner that seeks to create a certain perception from the onlooker. We clothe ourselves to identify with a clan or tribe and separate us form others. To dress modestly, or provocatively, on trend, or to pay not mind, these in ways are statements to who we are and how we feel about ourselves, and aspects of our society.

Often our actual bodies (not just what we shroud them in) are also a statement, not just on who we are, but how we feel, and participate in our lives. Often how we care for our bodies, what we not only put on them, but also in them, say a great deal. The first thing that comes to mind is the idea of what we eat and if we exercise. I know that I instantly have a feeling about someone carrying a yoga mat, or in workout clothes with a bottle of water, or people dressed fro going for a run. However the way our bodies respond to food and exercise don’t always have a uniform result or a uniform look. I mean we think we know what health looks like (thin, fit etc.) but that is not always the case. I think things like hairstyles, piercings and tattoos are more exemplary of a chosen image of our bodies representing us. Using one’s skin to tell stories, create memorials, express beliefs, or convictions is also in a way type of Tribism. There is a very specific and extensive community linked to both tattooing and piercing. Oddly when it comes to more cosmetic forms of body augmentation such as breast, butt, or facial implants there is less of a communal feeling. I have seldom seen women with implants (of any kind) enthusiastically and openly discuss their procedures the way that people with tattoos do! It is taboo to say to a woman, “Wow, do you get Botox? I get it too… I love your Restylane job!” I’m sure it happens in a certain context, perhaps more on the down low, probably something like the Masons… However plastic surgery has also become a uniform of sorts. The puffy lipped, bulbous cheek implants, breast and buttocks implants and Botoxed foreheads have become a certain status symbol. The faker you look the richer you look. The “look” implies upkeep, expensive up keep. In some affluent communities the waxy, plumped up plastic non-moving facial features along with the Louboutin red-soled shoes are identifiers that you are a part of the “Haves”. All uniforms. Looking too natural is frowned upon (well not actually because they can’t move their faces!)

Personally my uniform has me ever ready for a funeral or a robbery, I generally were all black, love a boot and I am seldom seen without my weekender Coach Tote (the best most versatile bag ever!) and sunglasses. For me I feel I can always look put together, black always looks chic, and is quite indistinct at the same time. You can wear pieces multiple times and no one ever knows (I can’t tell how many times I have been asked if something in my wardrobe is new!) It goes from day to evening with out thought, and is slimming! And when I am out of “uniform” it’s surprising to most people, it’s like a little holiday. It’s my Science!

What does your uniform say about you?

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Got a Sweet tooth? Here is a secret to CURBING it!!! (Via Kelly Osborne!)

ya gotta admit, she does look good!

Now I am not a fan of Kelly Osborne, but apparently she has the key to curbing your sweet tooth! And considering that she has dropped 63lbs and so far has kept it off I will pass it on…

‘#KellysHealthTips If you suffer from a sweet tooth try to eat more cinnamon it curbs your sweet tooth!’

I have yet to try it but I am up for anything, I can eat my body weight in sugar!!! if you try it, let us know how it works for you!

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1965 “Barbie Slumber Party” included a Diet Book…now we know why her waist is so small…

This is CrayCray, and explains a great deal about why women hold the  thoughts they have about their bodies if this is what we they were given to play with as children! All I have to say is that I am glad that in 2012 we realize that this is just wrong….

Now, courtesy of a 1965-era Barbie, comes another outlandish idea to help keep the pounds off: starvation. We’ve always known Mattel’s iconic Barbie doll may not be the most healthful source for advice on keeping a trim figure, but the “Slumber Party Barbie,” produced in the mid-1960s, really takes the cake.

Among the doll’s accessories are a small plastic scale permanently set to 110 lbs., and a diet book titled “How To Lose Weight,” because who doesn’t go to a sleepover without their diet book?

WTF! this is the craziest part, that in 1965 somehow someone thought that THIS was okay to give to a little girl, for fun!

According to the Daily Mail, Mattel dropped the scale from Slumber Party Barbies produced the next year, but the diet book — and its terrible advice — lingered on until at least 1967.

Hosted by The Huffington Post

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Kate Fridkis tells us: 8 Reasons I’m Thankful For My Body (Mirror, Mirror)

Fairest shmairest! Let’s get real about beauty and body image. Mirror, Mirror is a column running every other week on The Frisky. It is written by Brooklyn-based columnist, freelance writer, and bagel enthusiast, Kate Fridkis who also writes the blog Eat the Damn Cake. You can follow her on Twitter at @eatthedamncake.

I was standing in line at the Whole Foods bathroom, and I glanced over and saw myself in the mirror. I was packed in with a bunch of other women, and they were all looking glamorous because it was Columbus Circle and that is how people look there. I, of course, did not look glamorous, but when I caught sight of myself in the bathroom crowd, something cool happened. I felt this spark of pride. Like, “That one is mine.” Like when your dog is all scrappy and mutty, and you’re like, “Fuck these purebreds, my dog kicks butt.” I felt like that. And now I’ve compared myself to a dog, so we’re off to a good start.

As I get older and turn a little bit more into my mom everyday, I get more sentimental and want to celebrate and commemorate and stop and smell flowers and keep a gratitude journal and basically just take every opportunity to be self-reflective as the world around me is rushing off to grab some McDonald’s and get in line for the new Bond movie. Which is why I’m going to pause for a second and be thankful in honor of Thanksgiving. I don’t think people are thankful enough. And I don’t think women, especially are thankful enough for our bodies. So I’m going to take a moment here, before the mindless ecstasy of stuffing and gravy, to notice what I’m thankful for about my body.

1. I am thankful that I am whole. My entire body works, all at the same time. I mean, I can’t do complicated stuff like pat my head while I rub my belly, but I am pretty sure I can do them one after another (it’s just that the occasion so rarely presents itself). We learn very young to criticize our bodies and take so little time to appreciate the fact that they work. Really, it’s pretty damn awesome to have a whole, functioning body. That’s kind of attractive in and of itself.

2. I am thankful that I am feminine. Not that feminine looks any one way—there are a lot of iterations of feminine. But I am obviously one of them. Even with short hair and small boobs, you can tell. And I like that, because I like being a woman. I would rather be a woman than a man, so it worked out.3. I am thankful that I am attractive enough. I, like many other women, have spent a lot of time wishing that I looked better than I look. Just a little prettier, please. Maybe my lips could be wider or my nose spunkier or my cheekbones more defined or my legs longer. But I’m not ugly. I’m not even unattractive. I look fine. Not stunning, necessarily. But good. And when I think about it, I’m not sure why good isn’t good enough. I’m not sure when it became so important to be gorgeous. I am a good pianist, too. Not a great one by any stretch of the imagination, but the amount that I am able to play gives me a lot of pleasure. I can play pieces and accompany songs that I like! I don’t really feel the need to bang out some Rachmaninoff. It’s not crazy to want to be prettier, our culture cares enormously about beauty and places a lot of pressure on girls and women to be as attractive as they possibly can. But I believe we’re capable of autonomy even in the face of a generalizing system. I think we don’t have to let ourselves succumb to the pressure.

4. I am thankful that I look unique and interesting. It would probably be a lot easier to have one of those faces that come alive with makeup (rather than looking somewhat like an aging but determined prostitute), and hair that can be curled or straightened or dyed. Some people can play with their appearance, almost like they’re a blank canvas. My appearance knows exactly what it wants and it usually gets it. Fighting gets me nowhere—it’s safer to just give in. But there is something unmistakable about the way I look. I don’t look like any actresses or famous personalities so I don’t have a doppelganger to put on Facebook when everyone is doing that. But people always remember me when they’ve met me before, and I always spot myself immediately in the bathroom mirror at Whole Foods, so I’m going to go ahead and call that a win.

5. I am thankful that you can tell my ethnicity on my face.I used to be a littleembarrassed by how Jewish I look. After all, the ethnic Jewish look is not exactly one sought out by preeminent fashion designers. My nose is big and bumpy, my face a long oval, my hair gets easily frizzy, and my eyes are round and, I’ve always suspected, too close together. Sexy! Maybe not, exactly. But packed with history. I look a lot like my great grandmother, actually. “She was beautiful!” my family always told me. I saw the pictures, and quite honestly, she wasn’t. But they remember her as beautiful because she was badass. She spoke at least seven languages and escaped Austria during a time when soldiers at every checkpoint stabbed pitchforks into the hay in the back of hay wagons, in case Jews were hidden underneath. She was hidden underneath, but she survived, and came to America with her little brother. She was 18 at the time. I remember her amazing jam cookies and her gentle, intelligent voice. Not a bad person to look like. My face has a story to tell, and it’s not a simple one.6. I am thankful for my butt. It surprises me that people still make jokes about women wishing their butts were smaller. Why would anyone ever wish that? I’ve never understood. I love that my butt has a, shall we say, presence. It is a part of my body I am consistently happy with. And those parts are really important.

7. I am thankful for my height. I am exactly average—5’5”, and that’s often seemed boring. If I were smaller I could be petite and adorable and curl up even in one of those school chairs with the kidney-shaped half desk. I had a roommate in college who could do that and I spent whole classes being jealous. If I were taller, I could be dramatic and graceful-looking. But in honor of Thanksgiving, I like being exactly average height, because when I wear heels I am tall and dramatic and when I don’t, I can easily kiss my husband, without having to go up on my tiptoes. And that’s convenient. Being average sometimes just means having more options.

8. I am thankful for my belly.It’s cute. It sticks out and I secretly like it, even though sometimes I think it should be completely flat. But that’s a lie. It shouldn’t. It should stick out a little. And it does. Like a champ.

It’s amazing how much I have to be thankful for when I look in the mirror. Especially considering how often I’ve wondered if I could possibly look any worse. What was I even thinking? I could have a giant hump on my back! I could have been born with a third eye on my cheek that can’t open all the way and is always staring glumly at the ground! But seriously, when you take a minute to think about what is good about the way you look and the way your body works, it’s pretty awesome how much stuff you can come up with. The things I listed above are just the beginning, for me. But I have to go read stuffing recipes, so I don’t have time to write the next six hundred pages.

So what about you? What about the way you look makes you thankful?

 

via The Frisky

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Elizabeth Dosoretz shares: How One Department Store Saleswoman Ruined My Day

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Blogger and Founder of Accordingtodna.com Elizabeth Dosoretz shares a dressing room experience we can all relate to, an overly helpful sales person. This is one of the reasons I steer clear of most sales people, nothing personal but for me shopping is like praying – not a religious experience but very personal and private. It can be a space of vulnerability so I prefer to go it alone. I don’t even like to shop with good friends, mainly because I don’t want anyone’s opinion, not even a trusted friend and certainly not a stranger working on commision. If I am going to look good or bad, I want it to be of my own doing!

I look at myself in the dreaded three-way mirror. The department store that I found myself in sells great clothes, but the lighting and mirrors in the dressing rooms need some work. Granted, my unkempt, unwashed hair doesn’t look amazing. Neither do the dark circles that have taken up permanent residence under my eyes. No matter, something else has my attention at the moment: the little black dress and the blazer that I am trying on. I spotted this dynamic duo as soon as I walked into the store. The length of the dress is perfect for a “youngish” mother of three. The blazer boasts a nice snug fit. I can definitely dress this look up or down. I walk around to the bigger mirror, take a longer look, and decide then and there that I will buy both pieces. Who cares if I’ll be all dressed up with nowhere to go?

Just as I am planning the jewelry and accessories I will wear to complete the look (I’m picturing my Ippolita gold necklace and bangles as the perfect complements to this minimalist look), I practically collide with the saleslady who has come check on my progress. When I shop, I usually have a very limited amount of time. Unless I have a specific question or can’t reach a particular top, I try my hardest to steer clear of the sales staff. I’m usually in my own world, rushing to try the outfit on, while trying not to wake my youngest son who is sleeping in his stroller and still be on time to pick up my other children. Don’t get me wrong: I’m a loyal lady–I know commission is the name of the game. I am eternally grateful for the pre-sale Prada pumps my saleslady let me take two days before said pre-sale. I’m thankful for the saleslady who, despite my annoying requests (I like to pay half cash/half credit), smiles and manages to make me feel like I deserve the splurge. However, on this particular day, I had no need for her advice or support: I liked the outfit. I had exactly enough time to pay, purchase and bolt out the door.

The saleslady apparently had time to spare. She was thrilled to “have found me hiding in the dressing room.” I smiled, explained I would be right out, and turned away. My intention was to quickly end the conversation and make my purchase. I guess the message was less-than-clear. The saleslady misread my signs. Instead, she took my quick exit as a sign that I needed her empathy, or that I needed her as a shopping buddy and/or a psychiatrist. She looked at me apologetically, and said, “These cuts aren’t always right for everybody. I love this designer. But try as I might, I haven’t found his clothes fit me well either.” I was caught off guard, and may have even stumbled over my own flip-flops. I stood there and was uncomfortably trying to signal to Irene that taking the dress off would mean getting naked. I wasn’t about to have a heart-to-heart, in the nude no less, with the saleswoman. She did not get the hint. She then added insult to injury when she suggested a padded bra. “Maybe,” she said, “I could even get you some perfect Spanx or lightweight pantyhose from the lingeriedepartment.” I stared at myself in the mirror. I was ready to drop big bucks on this outfit and the saleslady had just ruined my self-esteem and her own commission. I wasn’t sure who had worse taste and tact — me, for not noticing my apparently too-small chest, or the saleslady, for stepping out of line and giving her much-too-honest opinion.

Call me stubborn or delusional, but I did not want a padded bra. I have never had large breasts and I think my smaller chest fits my petite frame just fine, thank you very much. And, no, I did not want to be sweating and squished in Spanx that I didn’t think I needed in the first place. I was happy with the way the dress and blazer looked. Why then, did I leave the department store without the outfit? Because even though I know that the way we dress and the accessories we choose are all about personal choices, unfortunately, other people’s opinions matter (to me, at least).

This dressing room disaster got me thinking about honesty, and specifically, whether there is such a thing as too much honesty? I love a loyal, tell-it-like-it-is friend. I appreciate the feedback and am grateful for the women and men in my life that know me well. I guess that’s the luxury in having good friends. These are the people who know us and respect our limitations and faults and celebrate our strengths.

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Keira Knightly talks Misogyny and Body Image

keira-knightley-hollywood-body-obsession-slamOn the heels of Cameron Diaz making her comments about women wanting to be objectified, another Hollywood ingenue says something that make some sense (at least to My Body My Image).

Here’s what she said about it during a press junket for her new movie Anna Karenina:

“I think the pressure we put on women to either be thinner or fatter or to have longer legs or shorter legs or bigger breasts or smaller breasts is disgusting. It’s amazing in 2012 that that level of misogyny over women is still there… Particularly over young women. We pull them apart.”

Never a truer statement has been uttered. I echo her sentiment. I think that a great deal of this issue of body image has a lot to so with themisogynistic society we live in. The fact that a woman’s worth, her value is intrinsically linked with her appearance, or her sexual appeal is reductive and antiquated. The unrealistic (digitally altered) standard of beauty, along with the endless comparisons (with digitally altered and real images) and cultural, racial, weight biased concepts and presentations of beauty only add to the epidemic of body image issues that we are experiencing today. Add to that, the fact that  all marketing, and media (film, television, print magazines) tell us (through images) that only young, thin, (primarily white or light skinned) women are worthy of love, affection, admiration, longing for, or coveting is an issue. What Knightly is say is at the root of the issue. It’s like a Jedi mind trick, – the concepts that Jean Kilbourne talks about in advertising do have an effect. We see what we are “supposed” to be, measure ourselves to it and then feel badly because we fall short. Never mind that is it not a “real” image, or goal that we are striving for or comparing ourselves with. Knightly and other actresses must feel an added pressure as they are charged with actually “being” the unreal image.

“I’m a person. I’m completely flawed and nobody should look up to me as a role model. But, hopefully what I can do is make some interesting stories.”

I appreciate that she goes back to the work that she does as an actress and off of the image that is projected whether that be an image when playing a role in a film, or the character in the narrative that the tabloids create of her. In this last statement she grounds herself in her reality which is set apart from what the industry would have her to be. This is where I find that she differs from Diaz as well. Diaz, it seems, has accepted the “role” that the industry/media has assigned her, and like a good “girl” with her images, and her words supports it (you don’t what to make “daddy” mad) Knightly seems (at least here in these quotes) takes the system on, and has decided through her craft to define, or re-define herself  her self.

Kudos to her!

 

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I Think Cameron Diaz Got It Wrong!

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“I think every woman does want to be objectified. There’s a little part of you at all times that hopes to be somewhat objectified, and I think it’s healthy,” [Esquire]

Just to be clear:

Objectification is the process by which an abstract concept is made as objective as possible in the purest sense of the term. It is also treated as if it is a concrete thing or physical object. In this sense the term is a synonym to reification.

Sexual objectification refers to the practice of regarding or treating another person merely as an instrument (object) towards one’s sexual pleasure, and a sex object is a person who is regarded simply as an object of sexual gratification. Objectification more broadly is an attitude that regards a person as a commodity or as an object for use, with little or no regard for a person’s personality or sentience.[1][2] Objectification is most commonly examined at a societal level, but can also arise at an individual level.

Ummmm No I don’t think so. I think that it might be fair to say that women want to be considered “attractive”  and yes “sexually desirable”, but I think there is a great difference between that, and full on objectification. Perhaps Diaz has that feeling because she has worked in Hollywood for so long, where your viability as a woman is directly linked to you being F-able, and if you are not then you move to another (lesser) category. There you body, your face is a commodity. However the average woman who works at Starbucks, is a receptionist, a nurse, doctor, lawyer, dentist, manager, CEO, CFO, or female executives might feel a bit differently. I doubt that neither Hillary Clinton as Secretary of State nor Condoleezza Rice she held the position, sit in meetings with the heads of nations hoping they want to bend her over the table and do her!

It does not surprise me that Cameron Diaz would harbor such a puerile notion. Where I don’t think that she is actually a bobble head (though when she says things like this I have to wonder) she has made a career of it, she is known for being the leggy California beach babe, fun loving, get the party started, pas the bong type of gal. Well that is fine when you are 20, but when you hit forty that act can wear thin, it can be considered inappropriate, at least not done with a modicum of class. Madonna tries it every now and then and even she (the grand dame) can appear desperate and sad. Diaz is a woman who is I think is feeling the wane of her Hollywood appeal, based solely on her age not on her looks, and is trying to convince herself (by convincing us) that ALL women feel this way.

Personally I would love to have men want to hear want to find the combination of what I look like and what I am saying to be a heady elixir that makes them want to get closer to see what else there is to discover about me. I would love for a man to be just as turned on by my thoughts, my views and my passions as he is with my ass. I would love for people to see me as a baklava of beauty, body, brains layers upon layers of gooey interest stuff all held together with sticky honey sweetness (and a little crunch). What woman wants to be considered limited to being just her body? Cameron needs to read My Body My Image!!!

 

Here are some other quotes form the article:

“[Photo shoots are] empowering. I’m not some young girl with the photographer going, ‘Will you take your clothes off?’ I’m like [mimes stripping], ‘How does this look?’ They’re like, ‘Today we’re not going to put anything other than bras and heels on you,’ and I’m like, ‘These heels are not high enough.’”

I’m a woman, I know how to handle myself. I know what I feel comfortable doing and I know my sexuality.”

Uncategorized

B- rocked my look Nikki Minaj and Julia Bowman

So last night at the American Music Awards Nikki Minaj walked the red carpet in a Neon Yellow Mermaid style Monique Lhuillier gown that she bought off the rack. Well of course Fashion hawks were all over the fact that Julie Bowen (of Modern Family) wore the very same dress at this year’s Emmy Awards in September. Now I hate it when fashion television shows do that “Who Wore it Best?” crap. I think that it is demeaning, and pits women against one another unnecessarily. So we won’t be going there. Instead what I would like to point out is that even though these women are worlds apart in type: one white the other black, one svelte the other curvy, well they are both blonde but I have to say that I think they both look fabulous, and the dress flatters them equally.

 

nicki minaj amaNow I am not a huge Nikki Minaj fan, and I am not one for her fashion antics, so I think that this is the most elegant that I have seen her and she pulls it off wonderfully.

nicki minaj ama I love the look on Julia as well, I think that this is a hard color for a fair skinned woman to wear and she pulls it off. She has a slight frame but the draping falls in the right places as to add volume where it needs to be to give her a more classic hourglass shape.

Where they look completely different, and great, the dress is still a character of it’s own, recognizable but not overpowering.

You see there is no reason to compare, when we can just stare— and say how beautifully individual both of these women are even in the same dress. (there is room for all of us!)